I've fallen for a guy I've only ever communicated with via Skype
For over a year now I've been speaking to a guy that I met on a dating app and then rather than take my number, convinced me to communicate over Skype as he only has a work number and that's what he uses for work and to speak with friends and family.
Anyway, over the past year we've talked a lot and are very attracted to each other. We're very candid with each other. There's a certain freedom about talking through text. I've suggested meeting up over the months and we've tried to organise this a few times but each time he gave work as an excuse. He told me he works long hours as a graphic designer which I do believe to be true. I stopped communication earlier in the year as I was tired of all the messages and the broken promises to meet.
He got back in touch 3 months ago saying that he's been seeing a counsellor to help him with self confidence issues which affect his ability to have much of a social life and which include a fear of being a disappointment sexually. Both of which have prevented him from meeting me. I asked whether he used work as an excuse for not wanting to see me before and he said no, that was a legitimate reason but that it's under control now. I tried to stand my ground asking what exactly he wanted from me and he said he wanted to chat due to the mutual benefit we felt and the way I made him feel when we talked intimately. Whilst I eventually relented and began chatting again I wasn't all in like before. I was blunt in saying that it's hard for me as I've been disappointed before yet care a lot about him. He said that he cared too but wasn't in the position to get into a relationship until he sorted himself out but was confident that the counselling was helping him get to the place he needed to that would at least allow us to meet in person. I accepted this and agreed to be patient. About a month ago he said that we could finally meet over the Christmas holidays. I asked whether he was sure that gave him enough time and he said yes.
Then about a week ago he just stopped responding to my messages. Unfortunately, on Skype you can see when someone is online and so I'm confident he received my messages. This isn't the first time he's just ignored me as it's happened before for weeks at a time. Trouble is, I honestly thought things were different this time. I care about him a lot and I'm very emotionally invested and so it hurts to be ignored even though I do believe it's not about me. As I said in one of my messages to him, if he needs more time that's fine and far more important than seeing me.
However I'm not a young girl. I'm a grown woman who should know better. A year plus is a long time to wait for someone to say they'd like to meet you and remove the safety net of messaging apps.
I guess I just wanted to put this in writing to see if anyone has any further insight for me beyond just trying to move on and not getting sucked back into this again.
Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read this.
Something is not right here.
You have invested a lot of time in this relationship - which he seems very content to keep as LD.
Really - a Skype from the office? For all this long? WTH?
What do you know about this man? Have you investigated if he is married, involved or otherwise committed so he can't see you? How many other women is he talking with? Remember - EVERYTHING you have said or shown to this man has the potential to be on the world wide web!
NOTHING is more important than you seeing him in person. That does not mean sex on the first encounter, so he can stop using that as an excuse. Real, live interaction is the only way this relationship can move forward. (However, if you are satisfied with being a Skype buddy - then go for it. Just know that's as good as it's going to get.)