My boyfriend broke up with me

Posted by
DAISY OKAY
on Dec 31 2017 at 22:56
Member since: 31 December 2017
Gender: Female
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category So we have been dating for a year and two months and out of no where, literally overnight I felt something had changed but he still acted the same. Then two days later we had a small fight, I was avoiding him because I felt unworthy of him because of how many gifts were under his christmas tree, idk stupid of me I know. Anyways, this guy loved me to the moon and back and everyone knew it, he wpuld buy me food all the time and spoil me rotten, always be with me, and he was the most loyal guy in the world, and protecred me like Jesus himself. He was the type of guy that is tough to crack, like only some people can get to him and I was the one who got to him and changed him, made him happy. Anyways, that night we fought, he said he didn't know how he felt about the relationship and he'd been feeling like that for three days and he wanted to take a break. Of course I'm so confused because everything was perfect. Anyways, two days later I got impatient and called him and he said that he wants more physical affection, which I have pda issues, I get uncomfortable to even hold hands in public and he also wanted more time to think. Anyways, two days later, Friday, we called for an hour, he had been ignoring my text but finally he answered, we were working things out and he kept getting my hopes up because he told me the problems going on. He said he wanted more freedom, we were always together, we have 6 classes togethrr at school and when he wasn't working or wrestling we were skyping and I had felt like we talked too much and I would offer to let him do something else but he'd say he wanted to stay so i didn't know that was a problem. Anyways, it was a battle sometimes for me to even let him shower but because I had missed him and he could shower later, and I'm not clingy, just he'd been gone all day and I wanted to spend time together. Anyways he said that he wanted more freedom and during the break he had enjoyed the freedom like, not asking to go shower or hang out with friends, i guess he felt like it was a constant battle but he never mentioned it because he thought it would hurt my feelings, anyways he said no girl could ever comoare to me, and going back to the relationship sounded perfect but things don't feel right right now. Anyways, at the end of the call i offered to let him go and do whatever he felt like and he said he would shower and eat then call me later that night and he even asled for my descion on what to do first, shower or eat, I asled if things helped him, like talking it out and he said "yeah", and things felt good to me and it sounded like they were for him too. Anyways 3 hours passed and it got me feeling weird, like of he had missed me he would have called sooner but then he texts saying "what do you want to talk about?" And it felt weird, during the time I waited it felt weird to go back to normal so fast, like something was going to go wrong. Then I texted him "honestly, what are you feeling right now." He said, "Honestly I want to be single for awhile." Then I called him and he said "i think we might have a chance" then I kept pushing the subject, and he said, "I don't feel the same spark to text you back or what to talk about" and I kept pleading and begging and then he finally broke because I was beggimg for him to come back i guess and he said "I lost intrest" and I said "You knew that the whole time?" And he said "no" I asked, "Did you still lose some love for me" and he said "yeah", then "it's over, i'm not going to keep getting your hopes up, don't wait for me to come back, you'll find someone new." he kept sending mixed signals all day and personally I think that he tasted freedom and missed it, amd the whole reasom he didn't break up with me and wanted a break was because he didn't want to let go but he wasn't feeling us anymore. He always kept saying it wasn't me, it was him, but there is no girl involved. We haven't talked in two days and I'm goimg to see him again on wednesday. I just wamt him back, I don't know what happened between us, I feel like it was communication, or maybe this happened overtime but he never mentioned anything. What should i do? Should I have hopes? I'm willing to change, I just didn't know what was wrong, anyways personally I feel like right now we need a break because things feel weird for me too but I want him back soon. Just if we get back soon I know it's worse, like we are better apart right now.
Reply from
ADIDAS
on Jan 2 2018 at 16:18
Member since: 02 January 2018
I think you should give him some space to clear his thinking. And you should try and keep as busy as possible. Cry and feel any emotions you want.

If you do want to say anything to him. Write it in a letter. Pretend the letter is actually him.

You haven’t done anything wrong. The worst thing you can do atm is keep contacting him or trying to meet him. Give him some time.

In the meantime evaluate your life. Are there thugs you want to do or wanted to do. If so then Make plans to do them .

I hope you feel better. Relationship are not easy

Reply from
MERCI
on Jan 3 2018 at 01:41
Member since: 29 July 2017
Breaking up is always heartbreaking and during the holidays, feeling alone can be overwhelming. You mentioned your bf cared and protected you like Jesus would. The fact that you brought up Jesus makes me wonder if you are a person of faith? If so, leaning on Him could help you find the patience you need to give your bf some freedom to clear his head.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

There’s always hope… Maybe try and remember the good things in your relationship, and the reasons he loved spending time with you: did you give him more freedom earlier in your relationship?

Have you ever done babysitting?

For example: The children that are playing together nicely, ask you for a snack. It’s very easy to reward them making them popcorn or giving them ice cream.

Vs

The children who are fighting and begging you nonstop for snacks and even after you give them a snack, they continue begging for more. Usually, the answer for those children begging is “NO!” And you can’t wait to get free, right?

You mentioned having 6 classes with him so seeing each other may be uncomfortable at first. But, it could also be a blessing if you truly want to see him happy. For a start, be his friend and give him the freedom he is seeking.

I’m leaving you with a link that may help you with communication in the future. God Bless. www.the-relationship-coach.com