Me and my boyfriend have been together just over 2 years but he doesn't turn me on. I know it sounds weird but I am attracted to him, it's just that sexual arousing feeling just isn't there. When we have sex we always use lubricate because he never seem to get me wet. I've tried spicing things up with toys, foreplay etc but that feeling is still missing. I've even tried telling him things I like and he does try, but I still don't feel it. Once we are having sex it's pretty good but it's mostly because I fantasize about other people or certain things, which makes me feel so bad. The thing is I do love him and he is a great guy. He treats me really well and we get on great. He keeps talking about future things like getting married but it scares me because I'm not sure if I can live without that feeling forever. At the same time when I think of leaving him and moving on that scares me too. I don't want to leave him and realize I left the right man. So confused! please help. Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated.
Believe it or not, I’ve experienced similar issues and this is just my take on it. I am very attracted to my husband and he turns me on...but sometimes I think he is incapable of doing the things I need in bed, even when he tries. But despite that and even though he tries, I love him and I didn’t marry him for sex....although sex is a big part of a relationship. I love the one-ness and connection I feel with him regardless of his sexual inexperience. That’s what I attribute it to at least. Love isn’t sex, You’re both gonna get old and sex may not even happen after a a certain point. So marrying someone is not about that. The question is, do you love HIM. Him as a person and do you love his heart. Hope that helps and makes sense.
Is this something recent, or has this been your feeling all this time?
All the components SEEM to be there, so what is the missing ingredient that makes you hold back from giving totally to this man (cause that's what's needed here)
Some self-introspection about your relationship is needed. And perhaps a talk with your Dr if you feel it could be a hormonal issue.
Don't make any promises until this is resolved. Good luck.