Apparently he walked in on my hand in her pants. I’ve never done anything like this and I’m not even attracted to women. Over night my entire world has been flipped upside down. Im so terrified I’m going to lose my family over something I didn’t even know I was doing. I still don’t even remember anything from that night. I need to fix this, we talked and he’s just so hurt that I betrayed him. I understand why he is mad but I want him to be able to get past this so we can get still have our family and life together. I love him so much and I would never intentionally hurt him.
I haven’t been able to eat or sleep and I just cry because I feel like I’ve lost my best friend, my soulmate. I just don’t know how to fix things, I also don’t know what to do to keep my mind off of the whole thing. I’m a stay at home mom so I never go anywhere, how can I stop thinking about this? How can I make him realize I’m so sorry? I can’t lose him.
Why the argument with husband? Someone trying to get rid of him?
Is she saying anything about this?
As you can see, perhaps you got "set up"
If you two can't work this out, go to marriage counseling. You can't make yourself sick over this.
I wish all conflicts had those essentials. So with that in mind, let’s focus on your communication to “fix this”.
Besides the above referenced essentials in your talk with your husband, let’s add honesty. Your husband deserves it. This may take some self-reflection, also. Ask yourself if there are any bi-sexual inclinations. How attractive emotionally, physically, and intellectually do you find your girlfriend? How does she imagine you? Do you know? Perhaps the dialogue should include your girlfriend. If all these issues seem appalling, than that may be just what your husband needs to hear. If not, he needs and deserves to know that, also. From there you can focus on where you go, with our help, I hope.
Although not the center of this behavior, your husband will need to be forgiving to save this relationship. That may be very difficult for him initially but may be the resolution you seek. If you would like to know what that means from him, please let me know. It is a difficult path but a necessary one.
Please tell us how this works out.