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My Husband Wants An Open Marriage

Posted by
LYNN
on Jan 19 2018 at 21:21
Member since: 19 January 2018
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category My husband and I have been married for 20 years and he just told me a few days ago that he wants an open marriage. Apparently he has felt this way for many many years but has never said anything because he knew it would hurt me. I am I firm believer in monogamy and do not know what to do. He is not pushing me to do this, but was expressing his feelings to me. He does not want to do anything I am uncomfortable with. He loves me and still wants to be married. I am afraid now that I know this is what he really wants that our relationship will never be the same. I am sad all the time. I love him very much and do not want to be divorced from him. I don’t know if I can be happy knowing that I can never be enough for him.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this or have any advice for me? I should also mention that we have four children and I desperately want them to be raised with both parents. I really want to make this work if at all possible.

Thanks for reading.

My husband wants an open marriage
Reply from
BUNNYHABIT
on Jan 20 2018 at 11:16
Member since: 23 May 2017
you can express your feelings, but i feel he will persue other women and not tell you. you can agree with caveat that you would like to meet and befriend his other partners. you can agree with condition of a limited quantity and frequency with other partners.

all these alternatives may lead to a divorce if other partner wants to marry him or break away and he prefer her over you. the second choice i believe is the safest alternative to maintaining your marriage long term if you can handle maintaining a friendship with his other lovers.

My husband wants an open marriage
Reply from
SCOPES
on Jan 20 2018 at 20:55
Member since: 08 June 2016
An open marriage is something that both partners have to be on board with agree upon and have set strict ground rules.

If he knows that you're uncomfortable with an open marriage then maybe you should have a more in depth discussion if you think there are trust issues.

There are a number of reasons as to why one partner or the other want an open marriage which I'm not sure if should really go into here.

Do some research there's alot to about the subject. :-)

My husband wants an open marriage
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Jan 20 2018 at 21:01
Member since: 27 December 2013
Sounds like an ultimatum given to you: he's planning on cheating and wants your permission. That's that.

But that's not what YOU want because it violates your marriage vows and makes you sad. And besides, this has worked for 20 years, so what's NEW in his life that makes him want this kind of lifestyle?

Could it be a "man-o-pause" for him? Kids taking up a lot of your time and the marriage was not kept romantic? He wants to act on a specific situation with a soecific person.

He owes you an explanation and that can be done in front of a marriage counselor - a safe place to reveal what's going on. Insist that before you grant this " wish" it be discussed in counseling.

Don't give him the go- ahead to do something that will cause damage to your marriage and wreck your self esteem.

My husband wants an open marriage
Reply from
BUNNYHABIT
on Jan 20 2018 at 23:11
Member since: 23 May 2017
He owes you an explanation and that can be done in front of a marriage counselor - a safe place to reveal what's going on. Insist that before you grant this " wish" it be discussed in counseling.

this idea will insure your divorce in the near future

good luck to you

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?