Now I think I am in love with her - for many more reasons. We occasionally flirt with one another and share long embraces. She loves winking at me and I am overly kind to her. Hell- I even give my things away to her. She is just perfect, at first I thought it was my adolescence phase hormones, but now...
I am not so sure...
What do I do?
It is not unusual to have a crush on a teacher - male or female.
But it is inappropriate and even illegal in the US for a teacher to have a relationship with a student that is sexual in nature.
I am sure she knows that!
A wink and a hug is not unusual for female to female friendship. Perhaps you are misinterpreting her friendship gestures.
In any case, these are YOUR feelings and they belong to you in your heart and mind.
How is it that you spend time with her?
how old are both of you? what country do you live in? the only physical contact was an embrace? what have you given her? what about her heats up your hormones? do either of you work? it is also a sin to be intimate with a married woman. what are your future plans with her? are you acquainted with her husband or children? how did she and you hook up?
I will not underestimate or delegitimize your feelings for her. I think you are correct in this partially being a hormonal challenge. Not much you can do about that except celebrate the gift of allure. It is a gift, you know. It just comes with rules as you are already painfully aware. The more we think about something, the more it becomes a part of our existence. That’s biological. It may help to focus on other things, feelings, gender, etc. However, our thoughts are very difficult to control so perhaps we can focus on behaviors. Can you decide how often and how long you will be with this person? Can you find an equal or greater and less threatening attraction? For example, can you “hang” with adolescence that have similar likes and dislikes and are in positions to share similar challenges? How about interests that you are passionate about…..sports, art, music, etc? They can be overriding and influential if you allow them.
Now you know just one of the reasons why adolescence is so difficult. Fortunately we outgrow this highly emotional and risky time of life. Please keep in touch and share with us how you overcome this temptation. We can all use some support and help with our own.