A friend of mine had a party 3 months ago. I was quite drunk and a couple of days later my friend told me that a male friend of hers had been to visit saying that I had upset him at the party by something I had said but assured my friend that he was concerned that I wasn't t my usual self. Mortified I tried to phone this guy to apologise but couldn't get through so I sent an apology text message saying I was really sorry I had upset him, I couldn't t remember what I Had said but I realised that was no excuse. He hadn't replied after a few days so I sent another text more jokey telling him I wasn't scary and asking him to communicate. I then got a horrible text back inferring that I was playing a dangerous game and never to contact him again. I saw him out in the pub and smiled but he blanked me. I am not someone who gets nasty on drink so I knew I hadn't been abusive. we were all meant to be having Christmas dinner together at my friends but after he blanked me I told my friend I couldn't go as I suffer from depression and anxiety and wouldn't be able to deal with the atmosphere. He went for dinner at our friends I popped in for a drink and I maybe got a hello but that was it. My friend tells me he wants to sort it out and he had told her that the pub wasn't the right place to do it. I m confused as he didn't t smile back. He also told her he hadn't been in a good place that night due to a relationship. I feel very angry with him now but my friend doesn't understand my anger.I m not sure what to do next and would appreciate any advice thanks.
You said something offensive (was there a witness?)
You apologized (but by text; this really should have been face to face)
He rebuffed your apology. (Insinuates you are not sincere or are a game-player or joking about it)
Now you are angry.(because you don't know what else to do?)
Well ....Try ONCE more with a sincere, face to face apology and then - let it go. ( Because you don't know what you were supposd to have said, ask him. Then apologize for that specific remark)
That's all you can do. If he keeps this up, consider that he wants your attention)
(In the meantime watch your drinking. It should never be to the point of you not knowing what you are saying or doing)