I have days were i dont want to see anoyone or have started to hate my personality more as i start to hate my body. Im a sarcastic person but ive turned to of a more rude sarcastic person and i dont know how to stop. I dont know whether i should leave my friends even though they haven't done anything wrong. They are super caring and were there for me when i went to the hospital this one time. But im starting to feel like everyone hates me. I dont want to feel lonely and im scared and don't want to be friendless. Any advice would be great
But for sure, distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel inferior or judges you.
How about returning to the gym - not for sports team or competition purposes, but just because it feels good ( it's said to help cut depression and anxiety by 50%!!)
Then there's the on-campus services that you can tap. Sitting down with a Counselor who has experience with your feelings would help.
Goid luck and keep in touch!
However, I have a very important question for you. Why is it that you feel “wickedly insecure” when someone compares your values to theirs or when you make this comparison? And why is it that you find sexual activity a big part of this guilt? I will suggest to you that religious people enjoy sex as much as atheists or agnostics. I would love to answer this for you, but I feel this “epiphany” has to come from you.
My last thought is when any of us compare ourselves with others, we will always find some failures and limitations in who and what we are. Unfortunately we focus on our weaknesses in these comparisons and overlook our strengths. What makes you special or different?
If you find yourself struggling with these thoughts and find a lack of motivation for self improvement, you may be struggling with depression. This can be very serious and I ask that you seek a physician’s diagnosis and not your own.
Once again, I hope to hear back from you on this self reflection. I would love to continue this conversation. Oh, and I think you may
have some very good friends.
And I have no doubt religious people enjoy sex as much as atheists and agnostics, it's just that in this case my friends are waiting for marriage and I didn't. So, I feel judged when they talk about a girl who has gone through the same sexual lengths as me, which they are aware of and then they judge that girl. But I can't tell if they are kind of judging me but in an indirect way. Does that make sense? Also, I have had some experiences with drugs and they haven't so same thing there, judging people who have gone the same lengths as me. But then again they are still my friends, but if it's so obvious that they wouldn't be friends with "those" type of people then why are they friends with me? It's like everything I do they disapprove of but they have to be my friend. For some odd reason, they feel like they have to but they really don't. I really hope that made sense.
Plus, any advice on how not to feel like materialistic things prove your worth?
Remind yourself that there is immense pressure on women your age to be materialistic. Resist all that superficial stuff - like clothes and brand name shoes and purses. Try to concentrate on being real. If these "friends" are so concerned with material goods, then distance yourself from them. They are making themselves act desperate, just to wear something brand name.
Are your friends "authentic"? Your question and doubts about their vaues shows that you are so much more mature than them! Congrats!
It is hard for me to judge the quality of your friendship with only the information you have shared. If you feel your friends are condescending, discuss your feelings with them. People who openly “put down” others around you, may not be the friends you wish to keep. However, there may be more to this. I also agree with you that they do not need to be friends with you, but it is a choice they have made. So, as I had asked in my previous post, what are your strengths? What makes you a good friend?
I hoping you will reflect on these questions and respond. I will be anxious to hear from you.
Better health, they're going to the gym more consistently than me, we started at the same fitness level and now they're much more ahead than me.
I find this one silly but I'm truly asking myself what they have that I want and I can't seem to not think about this- So I rushed sororities this semester but didn't like the houses at all so i dropped and my friend got the top sorority but she's not social at all but she's a legacy so sucks for me because I started to question my worth so that didn't help
My other friend didn't rush and she is from California and has a lot of money so she's just privileged
And the sorority girl has a lot of guys after her and i guess im just jealous but i dont want to be like her because everyone we meet they ask me separately why she's a bitch and doesn't try to talk so yeah.
Sorority girl has a much better gpa and her family is super connected to the school and she has so many privileges and connections so i think that's like the main reason why im still friends with her which feels so shitty
Wow I just read this and realized that im dwelling on some dumb shit. My problems are so stupid. I think it really helped typing this all out and actually thinking thoroughly about what i want. this really helped me get over some stuff
Focus on what is truly important to you. Identify your personal values and prioritize them. For example, is your health and personal fitness more important than anything else? Is it material possessions, popularity, money, God, friends, or sex, to name just a few values. Once you establish a hierarchy of values you can focus your energy, passions, and expectations in those areas by setting goals consistent with those values and principles. If your priorities are wrong for you, you will feel the conflicts you experienced previously with your friends. When that happens you can change your values to be consistent with you feelings or change your goals. In this case conflict can be your friend.
Finally, you never shared with me what your strengths are but now I can identify one for you….perspective!