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Very poorly ex mother-in-law

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Bereavement advice Please help. I got divorced 5 years ago and have a 14 year old son with my ex but still maintained a very good relationship with my ex mother-in law. She is I her late 80's and has now been in hospital for the past 2 weeks. She is extremely poorly with heart failure and now kidney problems but I still live in hope that she will pull through. I took my son in to see her last weekend but the past couple of days she is going down hill. I am finding it very hard to cope, had I still been with her son then we'd be in it together and I know she isn't really anything to do with me but doesn't stop me from worrying about my ex and wanting to know any little updates. I know if there was anything major he would get I touch but he is in a relationship with someone else thesedays who doesn't like me contacting him and I cant help but feeling that she is only now caring as she thinks they'll be something in it for her when his mum finally passes away. I just want to be there for him and his mum. My heart is aching so much and I cant stop crying and don't know what to do :( Please, please help..

Very poorly ex mother-in-law

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Your relationship with the grandmother of your child is admirable- but it has nothing to do with your ex.

He is out of your life and does not seem to want to go through this trying time dealing with his mother with you at his side.

Can you accept that? That seems to be at the crux of your anxiety and sadness.

Get information about grandmother from other relatives or the hospital. Help your son at this time, too. Try to accept that whatever happens, you will have to handle yourself and get comfort from others - not from your ex.

Very poorly ex mother-in-law

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I’m so sorry to hear about this heartache, as I too struggled when my Mother-in-law was diagnosed with kidney disease. It’s hard to see someone you care about failing... and there’s little we can do.

Holding her hand and letting her know she’s not alone may help your Mother-in-law have so. some peace.

You are also struggling with losing someone you care about and you know, only your X-husband would understand your heartache.

Except, the very person who would understand your pain is off limits. I can’t even imagine!

Do you have a mother or other family members you can contact? Sometimes, it’s harder for young people to relate. Does your son have a close relationship with his Grandmother?

If your divorce was something you really didn’t want, your Mother-in-law was there to help you during that time.

I don’t know if you are a person of faith? But I pray God sends you family and friends who will help carry you through this trial in His tender loving care.

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