I have been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months. We have both been in rehab and are both 3 yrs sober . He is not very physically affectionate , is not really into the iphysical side of the relationship , we only see eachother about once a week even though we live quite close and I find him a little bit cold. On the plus side he is in contact with me a lot , he now and again makes nice meals for us . I do not know what to do though because I feel I'm not getting what I look for in a relationship
You said you both been in rehab, he is using you as a,,,, how to say, that partner, you are his power, he is hanging out with you because you guys are keeping each other strong and starting sober life. you definitely need to break up with him, that is not a relationship you should be in, You need to be careful when you break up with him, he might go back to drinking , but at the same time , i understand its non of your business, why should you sacrifices yourself, you shouldn't, thats why you should do it gently, explaining that you need to be alone, and find yourself, to know what relationship works for you, so you decided this is the time for you on self transformation, he will understand,
and the reason i said those things, is because, you need to not rush with relationships, and you were in rehab for a reason, you had deep issues, and in order to find a right partner, takes, self awareness, knowing yourself,knowing what kind of person you want to become, knowing what you want out of life, ( and not the way these women do, knowing what color you like, or what kind of egg you eat, is not knowing yourself, )
knowing what kind of partner qualities you want, but being reasonable , it has to resonate with who you are today, if you don't like who you are today, then become the person you want to be, before you start looking for a right partner, what kind of relationship you want to be in, do you know what healthy relationship is? what do you have to offer to a right partner, do you know what it takes for a relationship to last? do you know what is required for a happy relationship? these questions and above are important before you jump into a relationship, never mind everyone else, everyone else don't want to learn, grow, become better, if you honestly want to have a mentally and emotionally healthy life, you need to do these above BASIC work, yes , its the basics, can you believe it? if you do all that, properly, right, there is a guarantee you will find a right partner and be happy, not only in your relationship but with all
but definitely leave this guy, gently,
After 8 months, you have a vision of this relationship and it's just not right for you. Trust yourself that you know what you need in a partner.
You owe him honesty about being in THIS kind of relationship, but you can be there as a friend.
Besides, It seems that's how he sees you now. Maybe it will be a relief for him, too.
Now I know this first response is gonna jump on me but I met my husbAnd in rehab. Hed been there four months ,I was mental hygiened by my family so only the 10 days. A week after I got home to the day he got dropped off to me and we just took off. I know that's not very smart and while we did fall down for a period of time we have a home and a child and everything's normal now.we saved each other People always say "you can tell you guys truly love eavhother" we're the why can't you be more like himher couple. Nobody knows how cold our relationship is.he's an amazing person ,man and father.used to treat me like a queen do anything and everything for me,which that slowing down is normal I hear lol but it was barely a few months in,I usually say 2but probably a little more than that al! The physical stuff stopped. Even wrestling around or the way he'd bite his lip when he looked at me. We were under stress ,especially him since just leAving rehab after 4 months and e everyone anxious to see your next steps. also he told me while hes always been horny but he's never had confidence And wasnt too in tune with his body.which trust me everything was fine.waa a I was as understanding for as long as I could be. Then came the anger, then sadness . I don't regret staying because he is my soulmate and I was like well sex isn't love but it hurts not feeling like the one man you should be able to f!up a switch on my thinks of you . It you start a relationship with a sign like this and don't feel like this person should passed by address it soon.sorry for rambling I actually got on here to vent and can't Bruce I've seen two others so fast
Please stop highjacking other people's threads. If you need advice or want to vent, please post your own thread?
I think you need to mind your business really. Sometimes it's not advice that helps, its seeing that you're not there only person out there dealing with something. Why even get on a site of this nature much less a specific forum for that matter if you're just gonna have attitude with people? You should go to Topix for thaT
The idea of a support group site is so people can post their problems, and get feedback. I'd love to hear about what you're going through. I'm not trying to say we don't want to hear your story. Just that it would be better if it was your own post, instead of through comments on other people's threads. It's hard to work up the courage to ask for help. I applaud you for reaching out. You can message me if you'd like to chat.