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Worried about my sister

Posted by
on Mar 6 2018 at 16:58
Member since: 30 December 2016
Emotional advice My dad and older sister were having an argument one day and my dad let it slip that she's self harming. My sister was very angry with my dad because me and my nan heard him and she went back to her university when she was meant to stay at my nans house for longer. I dont get on with my sister at all, shes never nice to me but I'm now worried shes at her university hurting her self and shes all alone. Why do i feel like this when we hate each other?I dont know why shes doing this and neither does my dad. My mam now has a boyfriend and she doesn't care about either of us. If I talk my sister she wont be nice to me. How can I stop worrying about her. ?
Worried about my sister
Reply from
on Mar 8 2018 at 06:13
Member since: 08 March 2018
Okay so, just some points of clarification. Who is your nan? Like, is that another word for your mom? Are nan and mam the same person? So, if you could just clarify those points for me.

So, you care about your sister, but you can't talk with her because she'll be mean to you when you talk to her. Can you either email her or give her a note? The reason why I suggest those two things is because she can't really interrupt a note with anger. And, in that note, what I think you want to make very clear is that #1 You care for her, #2 Ask her whether she could tell you why she hurts herself when she feels comfortable talking about it. Let her know that you'll be available to support her whenever she needs it. #3 If she won't talk with you, ask her to either talk to someone that she trusts or find a group that will support her. And, of course, emphasize that this is all coming from a place that you want her to stay safe. If I'm saying anything that's inaccurate for you, feel free to modify what I'm saying.

Now, in terms of how you can stop worrying about her, at the end of the day, all you can do is say your peace. You can't even force your help on her because that might irritate her. At the end of the day, she will do what she wants to, but you can at least let her know that you'll be there when she needs you. You're trying to understand where she's coming from in terms of harming herself because you care and you want to help. After you do what you can, you just need to step back and give her some space. That doesn't mean stop checking on her, but just give her some breathing room and just check in with her periodically.

Alright. I hope these ideas help. Good luck.

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