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A pain too deep to understand

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Emotional advice I am a survivor of sexual assualt many years ago. Recently a family member has told me that her step father tried to do something in that nature to her. I know how hurtful it can be for some one not to believe you when you confide in some one about something like this, however, her story is just not adding up and she has lied to me several times before... So being the nice person I am she is currently moved in with me again and I dont even want her here because I dont trust her. Well it's even more complicated because she is pregnant and going to have child adopted by a family member so I just feel so trapped... I can't kick out a pregnant girl but she is manipulating the entire family in every way possible to use them. Most of the family does not believe her and I feel this horrible guilt for not believing her either...

A pain too deep to understand

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Hello,

If she is lying then yes that is a low thing to lie about, espically to you, who has been a victim of sexual assault.

She doesnt have a great track record by the sounds of it and shes is your home, it's making you feel uncomfortable and probably bringing up all sorts of feelings and memories for you? You need to relieve this stress you are under for your own well being.

You could ask her to explain what happened again explain you want to try and help her. Ask her about the things that don't add up, if shes not lying she should be able to explain this too you quite easily and she should sound quite clear on what happened.

Often, it helps to look at why people lie. Maybe she thought you would believe her if lie to you about something to you that you have been through yourself. Do you think her step father/family at home could be making thing very difficult for her? And she needs to get away from them. Is she being forced to have her baby adopted by this other family memeber? You could ask her that as its not implying that you disbelief her and it could be a way of getting her to open up and tell you the truth.

Lying or not its up to you if you want her living with you. If you get honesty from her you'll feel better and she'll know not you use you in this way again which you can make clear to her at the time. Is there another family member who can offer you support, and her so you don't have to deal with this alone?

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