In love with my best friend..
Hi All, hope all is going good. Need little advise from everyone here coz I am in a mess. I am in love with this girl who happens to be my best friend from past 12 years and now she is my roommate. I was so stupid and blind in her love that I agreed to move with her hoping that she will also fall for me but i was wrong. Also let me tell you she already know that I like her from the beginning. Also she only have three best friend including me but I have noticed she never treat me like a normal friend like for example I am very friendly guy who love jokes and little flirting with other girls. So when my other friend flirt with her she is smiling etc and when I flirt with her then that thing will turn into a fight. Last night I told her yea that I love her and I cant help it since its a feeling I can not control it and she clearly told me that she doesn't feel anything for me and was aware about this thing coz I know her. Despite the fact that I know all about her I still love her I even know that she is using me like a carpet like when she need a support I am there and she need some love she goes to someone else BTW guys she dated are not so good looking and tall then me so I don't thing appearance is the issue here. Her favorite dialogue is you are my best friend and "I don't want to loose you" I am so pissed and disturb right now. Trust me if she was just a normal friend of mine I would have ignored, left and deleted her from my life long time back. I know the problem is she will not fall for me coz I am too available for her and easy going and not a challenge but the thing is I don't want to ignore her since we stay together how will I do it specially when I cant hate her. I am pissed with my self coz despite knowing all the truth I still stuck with here thinking what to do. I have never felt so bad in my entire life which I felt in these two years when I moved with her. Also I don't have the move out option coz of money issues.
She has you in the “friend zone.” She has told you that.
Do you think she is not being authentic ?
Oh my, twelve years. And yes, you are STUCK!
The good news: you can get unstuck!
The question is how long do you want to live in this one-sided relationship?
You mentioned she goes out with other guys, (even though, they are not as good looking). Since, you are a nice looking, and faithful guy, have you tried to do any kind of dating outside this friendship?
You mentioned: moving wasn’t an option. But, you can still keep your roommate/Best Friend... and move on emotionally.
Have you tried dating others women who may appreciate you and not take you for granted?
The true test: if you start dating other women and she wishes you well, that’s a sign you may always be in the Friend-Zone.
But, if she gets jealous of your girlfriends, maybe there’s hope of winning her over.
Or you can stay “Stuck” and she’ll keep treating you like an annoying puppy.
Sending prayers of encouragement and boldness. You need all the help you can get!
Hi Merci, thank you for your valuable feedback. To be honest I haven't dated from a long time specially these past two years when I moved in with her. Also I did try dating but my feelings for another girl doesn't grow to such level that I put some effort on it or may be I was thinking too much that dating another woman might end the slightest feeling she has for me. But now I am clear that what ever happens she won't fall for me.
So I guess concentrating on my own development would be the best option like by doing some exercise or learn something new. But this feeling kills when I think of her dating someone other and bringing that guy home right in front of me. Its so hard to pretend that you are not hurt but actually you are devastated.
I guess I only have one few option left that is try some meditation, exercise and cry alone behind the closed door and wait for the person who will help me heal my wound. I had always wished her happiness and will always do. I bet even she thinks the same for me.
BTW can you give me any tips if you have for dating new girls I am out of touch actually :P. Also I am a kind of vary friendly and talkative person specially when I am excited, Do you think any girl will like that coz I think girls like the silent type of guy who are always serious and angry is it true.
Well I wish you were a girl then I could have got my answers for this..