A broken friendship
So it started with college.. Everything was new and you dont know people around you.. time passed and there was this one person that i spent most of the time with.. Time passed and we both became best friends.. I used to tell him everything about my life and things were going fine just when i started having feelings for him. I fugured out he was straight and it was not gonna work so i kept my feelings to myself.
There were certain moments which led me to believe that he was also into me. We both would watch movies togethet and in the middle I would rest my head on his shoulder and he also did the same sometimes. We used to hold each other hands. We used to sit at nights and discuss various things and he would sometimes wrap his arms around me and i would also hug him tight. There were rumors that we both were gay for each other. But it didnt affect us. We both would hold hands sometimes.
I still remember one day he was crying due to some reason and i went up to him to console him. After everything was alright, I rested on his chest and he hugged me tight. I could have spent the rest of my life in his arms.
Seeing all this I thought he was also into me
And so i proposed him. I went to his room and i said that i love him and asked him whether he loved me or not..he denied he said he wasnt gay and he did not love me.. i was heartbroken but still i tried to move on
Since then, we would never do all those things, he wouldn't even touch me. I know i need to move on but everytime i see him, i think this is all i want and i could go to hell for one of his kisses because that is what heaven is made up of..
There is no way i could undo what i have done. Every moment i spend with him it makes me love him more..and there is nothing i could do to make him love me..i cannot break our friendship and i cannot live like this.
I dont know what to do next..
I feel you, but don't hang your head too much; time can heal every wound.. plus, you'll definitely find somebody else that will love you for who you really are, no matter what!
Hang in there and try moving on little by little.. you'll figure this out.
Hello NEAL: reads to me that there was real friendship there, real emotional intimacy and even some physical intimacy, as you described it. And then you brought it too close to home for him, close to that label: gay. Not something he wanted. Not that label.
I don't know of his sexual orientation. Don't know if he knows. In real life, I believe men are as inclined to feel and express affection to other men whether gay or straight. Only not wanting that label keeps lots of men away from physical affection with men, not wanting to be thought of as gay, not by others, not by themselves.
Did you notice in his behavior with other people, men and women, any indication of his possible sexual orientation, however .. unbaked it may be?
Thanku So much Guys.. it feels so good to know that atleast somebody understands you even if they are strangers
You don’t want to lose his friendship and he is clear that it’s not going to include a sexual interaction.
His boundaries are clear, but you must reassure him that you understand and accept everything. But you still want that close friendship you had before. Talk to him about this.
Can YOU accept and honor the “boundaries”?
Best thing would be for you to find someone else asap.
I talked to him regarding this...and yes now we are enjoying the same moments as were doing before.. now again I would hold his hands...and again we understand each other.. I am trying my best to understand and honor his boundaries... I am just afraid that i will fall for him again.
I hope it doesn't happen again.
I just talked to my friend...and it came out that he was always uncomfortable with all the physical contacts we had..but he never said anything to me because he didnt want to hurt me...and he was glad that i admitted my love for him and it all ended because he did not want any hand holdings...none of this was real..I dont know what to do...
Hello again Neal:
You wrote in your recent post that you "don't know what to do"- what are the options you are considering in regard to interacting (or not) with this man?