hello I'm in a gay relationship with my man c we been together for an year and half we met and immediately starting dating and I basically moved in with him the first week my lease in my apartment ended and I was going to my sister place till I could find a place but he offered me to move in and I did at first it was sweet and easy until all the stuff happened to summarize it I lied to him a lot I introduced him to people I had history with in the past and lied to him about when we were at the bar people came up to me and i didn't introduce him which was disrespectful in Christmas I text my ex with a single text saying merry Christmas and he found out later on I lied to him about my friend which I had kissed in the past but in a non romantic way I felt like it wasnt worthy of saying but obviously I was wrong I didn't do most of this with intention I just never really thought about them till they happened till this day he says bitterly or when angry that he has no respect or trust for me which I understand since I did hurt him and he doesn't listen to me anymore on our heated conversation he has criticized me and choked me as well even now we get in to toxic fights every now and then but he is a good person he provides me with a lot of stuff and takes care of my need he's caring and passionate too and I try to do the best for him as well but now are communication is suffering too I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because one little mistake and he snaps and brings up the past all over again to the point i can't say anything anymore i do care for him and i want us to be ok and happy but i don't know how to make the toxic go away which is why I'm posting here today any advice will be appreciated and i thank you for taking the time to read this
Hello SILENTWORD2.0:when you do not confess to another person every thought you have, it doesn't mean you lie to him or hide things from him. We all have the right for our thoughts remaining private. We are not obligated to share them. A healthy relationship depends on us being selective as to what we share and what we do not.
There is that kiss you shared with a friend before you met your boyfriend and you didn't tell your boyfriend about that kiss. You didn't have to, he didn't have the right to know. It was not wrong of you to not tell him even if he said it was wrong of you.
When your boyfriend says you are wrong, it doesn't mean you are wrong. Evaluate his statements before you take what he says as true.
If in the present you share a kiss, or more, with another man, it is another topic. He has a right to know about your trustworthiness in the present. As you have the right to know about his.
You wrote that you walk on eggshells around him, what is it that you are afraid of saying or doing around him?
i assume from conv you are the femme in relationship with him being the on top butch. just admit your mistakes to him and promise your singular love to him. dress sexy and show your passion for him as much as possible. don't hide your love for him in public. keep him well satisfied in bed. butches love to be adored by their femmes in front of other butches. in time you will be forgiven
criticized? choked, humiliated?
Lots of drama here. (Some brought on yourself)
Are you up to it?
He supports you and buys you things. But this abuse is not worth it.