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To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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Relationship advice Hi. I'm currently a 25-year-old heterosexual female. My best friend, who is a female, is someone who accepts every single flaw that I have and still loves me for my true self. She isn't interested in men and seemed to be keen on living with me and even have the idea of adopting children with me. That means I would have to give up a heterosexual relationship - it may not be extremely fulfilling but I can live with that (what are the chances that I can find a man who can be a better friend that she is? Minute.)

I'm left to face this decision for some time: to give in to her idea and hold on to what I already have or to put a line in between and break her heart to pursue something that might not exist.

It's a tough call and I am totally clueless on what is the right thing to do. I'm hoping that someone can shine a different lights so that I won't feel so lost. For my sake and hers as well.

To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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Hello SONIE:

I assume "to give in to her idea" includes having a sexual relationship with her. If so, the question is how do you, a heterosexual woman, feel about having a sexual relationship with her being a woman?

To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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Thank you for your comment. Really appreciate that.

We've been best friends without being sexually involved for years. I could feel that she's trying to cross that line for a while but I expressed my repellence against that notion. She respects my thoughts but wanting to remain as our current status.

To be honest, I'm still a virgin and can live off without a sexual life (at least I'm okay with it currently). But I worry that if we remain as what we are, there is bound to be a huge problem coming our way with regards to our friendship. But then again, she is such a great friend (perfect soulmate for me just born in the same gender) that might worth me not taking risk by putting myself out there and meet other men.

To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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if you are a virgin and contemplating living with a woman in a relationship what leads you to believe you are heterosexual? do you have sexual relations with her such as kissing, feeling up her body parts, cuddling, licking or are you completely platonic with her? have you ever made out with a guy before or just believe you would enjoy being with a guy? you should taste a heterosexual relationship before deciding whether to choose a straight, homosexual or bisexual definition for yourself. it seems you are leaning towards a homosexual relationship which is fine. difficult to choose without tasting each possibility. is as other choices in life like food you have to taste it before you know wheather you like it or not.

To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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Hello again SONIE: You are welcome. I am not sure that I understand: you 'expressed your repellence against that notion", that is the notion of having a sexual relationship with your friend. But you are considering not dating men in the future so to maintain a non sexual relationship with your friend. Did I understand correctly?

If I understood correctly and your friend as you stated in your original post, accepts your true self then why do you feel uncomfortable to not have sex with her and to not accommodate your future dating life so to keep her as your friend?

As long as you are true to yourself and she accepts your true self, what is the danger, for you?

To hold on to what I already have or to pursue something that might not exist?

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Why promise her something you are so unsure of, since just you have not explored your own sexuality fully?

Don’t confuse a deep personal friendship with your sexual preference. You can still be a good friend without feeling you have to give yourself completely to her. Because that’s what she will want if you give the message she wants to hear. Not fair to her - or you.


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