Here is the situation that I am in: At the end of last semester I met a guy playing basketball with friends. I didn't really talk to him as we are both pretty quiet people and didn't have a lot of opportunity for interaction, so I wouldn't even consider us friends at this point. I went home for winter break and never gave him a second though. After returning to school, I continued to play basketball with the same group of people and he was usually there. He got closer with some of my friends and began to integrate into our friend group. One night, when at a friend's dorm, we hung out most of the time because we were two of the few sober people that night. Afterwards I was dropped back off at my dorm, and that night he texted a mutual friend asking if I got home safely even though he was in the car when I got dropped off and knew I did. The mutual friend made a comment saying it seemed like he was into me and it was a way to get my number from said mutual friend. He texted me that night at like 3 a.m. just saying who it was and to give me his number. We friended each other on Snapchat and began to talk a little more and I started to realize I was developing a crush on him. It turned into us talking at least once every day on Snapchat, sometimes it came off as a little flirty, because he prefers to use it rather than texting for everybody. We would sometimes talk about some pretty deep things. One night it was like 1 in the morning and I get a snap saying he has two questions. The first question was if I liked superhero movies. At this point, I'm thinking he's about to ask me out because Black Panther just came out and it was a weird, out of the blue question. But then the second question came, and it was just another random get to know you question. I didn't know if he got scared and backed out or if that was never his thought process at all. A couple days later when going to play basketball l again it got brought up that the guy had a girlfriend back home in Minnesota, but never mentioned it to anybody but one of our friends. A few of our friends let slip that they though he was into me. The guys in our friend group grilled him about it a little bit and he said it was never a secret it just never came up and that it wasn't anything too serious. They had only been dating a few months, and they are both freshman in college who go to schools in different states. How had we talked every day and night and it never came up?
The next night he mentioned her when we were talking, and he was drawing similarities between us. The night before spring break he made plans with me to get lunch at a dining hall because we wouldn't see each other for a week. He went home for spring break and I went on a trip with some friends. We continued to snapchat every day and night and a couple of the guys there were making fun of me for it, but I always brushed it off. One night over spring break I get a random chat asking me about my religious beliefs, so we got into a pretty deep discussion about religion. Also, most of his chats to me were about how he wished he could be on the vacation with us because he missed all his friends. Over spring break, he spent time with his family and hung out with his girlfriend at least one of the nights because he chatted me when he got home from her house at like 2:30 in the morning. The only person who knows that I like him is my best friend because I'm worried that if people in our friend group find out then it will eventually get back to him. I'm already worried that the guys who saw me snapchatting him over spring break are going to make jokes in front of him about it. Also, one night I was on facetime with a guy friend and when I sent him a snap of it in the background he asked me who the guy was.
We continue to talk every day and are getting closer as friends, but I'm just super confused about the whole situation. I do not want to break up him and his girlfriend by any means, and I also want to continue to grow our friendship even if that's all it is. I have no plans of confessing my feelings to him because that is disrespectful to both him and his girlfriend. I just want other opinions about whether I am justified in thinking he was maybe into me or if I was just reading way too much into everything.
I think when he told your friend he was not heavy with girl in home town was because he knew he would spill the convo to you. he seems to be investing too much time and caring with you to just be after a friend relationship. best way for you to test his feelings is to get cozy with another guy in group. if he gets jealous or possessive you will know for sure his goal is to get down with you. he will be in a good position to have love relationship with you and other girl since she is remotely located. not sure if you are wanting exclusive relationship with him or just local arrangement? other possibilities is to friend his other girlfriend and snap on her to hear her take on him casually. does she think she is exclusive for him? probably not...
Something is holding him back from having a more full relationship with you - and its the hometown girl. They soon will realize that a long distance relationship is very difficult for young college students on different campuses.
He’s taking up a lot if your time. He needs to be honest with you. If he’s not totally free, then he needs to step back. After all, he will be going home for holidays and break. What will happen to you, then?