Let me first say that we have had a similar problem in the past with the same situation, words no actions. He sent inappropriate messages to a girl that we are mutually friends with. According to what I have seen and what they both say, nothing physical happened and she did not reciprocate his advances. I'm at a point where I don't know if I should stay in this marriage or not. We are christians and he said last night that he didn't know if he believed anymore. He has answered every question I have asked him and not defensively. He says that he loves me and doesn't want me to leave and that he has a problem. I am at a complete loss. Any helpful thoughts or options would be appreciated.
He needs to be open and say what his problem is. If it's boredom within your marriage then that needs to be addressed. From the small amount you've written it sounds like he's craving female attention and a bit of excitement, and perhaps sending stupid text messages to other women is what gives him a little thrill of naughtiness. Maybe sit him down and ask him to be truthful about what he's thinking, he may still care for you deeply but no longer feel "in love". People often start taking each other for granted in relationships and it causes huge resentments and eventually results in a loss of attraction, perhaps that's what's going on?
Same situation? Same woman?
Your husband is right: he has a problem. Go to marriage counseling to find out what’s going on. Perhaps he needs a physical, too.
What are your ages?