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Relationships issue

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I've been with my partner for longer than 3 years now. I've always been the most communicative one. Recently, my partner has been telling more white lies. They are harmless, but a lie is a lie, right ? Also, when I try to understand something about him, he would tell me "you don't need to understand", which I find... insulting ? Abnormal in a relationship ? What do you think ?

Relationships issue

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Hey, You don't want these little white lies to get to the point where you don't believe what he says anymore and he doesn't want to get into the bad habit of it where he finds himself doing it all the time and no one believe what he's says anymore. I think him telling you little white lies will slowly effect your trust in him and it shows he's capable of lying. Little white lies can also turn into big ones. I would keep an eye on it, and look at what he's lying about, does he lie about similar things or are they different? how often, why and judge for yourself how big or small the lie is and how much it annoys you. It also might not just be you he tells little white lies to, could be friends and family. There could be reasons why like depression or anxiety as in he's worried about the person reaction so he tells them what they want to hear. So talk to him he might be able to tell you why or if you figure it out together maybe he can learn to stop.

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Hello Panda_Pineapple: You wrote: "when I try to understand something about him, he would tell me 'you don't need to understand', which I find... insulting ? Abnormal in a relationship ?" Regarding his response ("you don't need to understand") it is likely that he is uncomfortable explaining and doesn't want to go through that discomfort. So he doesn't say: I don't feel like explaining, he says: you don't need to understand. It does happen, and I have no way of knowing if this is your case, that women do ask men too many questions, dig in too deep for comfort. I personally am one to dig, but I learned that as I do, I don't like it at times when others ask me to dig deep. Not when it is a distressing to me topic. And then, in that hypothetical case, white lies fit into the dynamic: the woman asks too many questions, maybe... interrogating, and like in a police interrogation scenario, the suspect lies. Again, this is a hypothetical case, a possibility. I have no evidence whatsoever that it is the case in your relationship. anita

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Thank you so much ! This helped a lot :) I think I have a better understanding now. Thank you for taking the time to reply ! (happy) Panda_Pineapple

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You are welcome, Panda_Pineapple. Anytime. anita

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