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I'm confused as what to do in this situation

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Relationship advice Hello,
I don't know what to do as I have a friend who is planning on getting back with one of her exes who was abusive to her during and after their relationship.
He would manipulate her and make her cut ties with anyone he didn't like or felt threatened by and they would argue the broke up just over a year ago but they would get back in touch here and there.

After they split up he hacked her social media accounts and begin to post private images of her online and just hack her accounts in general. This happened a year ago sorry for not being specifiying then she got back in touch with me after they broke up and she was miserable suicidal and so on. Then later on in last year in September she was raped and she told her ex and he said that she wasn't and she wanted it and she liked it as he didn't belive her because she was to scared to go to the police but apparently now he believes her.

Cut back to now and she's telling me she still loves him and we got into an argument about it as I think it's a bad idea as I'm apprehensive of the whole situation and I don't want to see her get hurt and go through that all again

I don't know what to say or do now any advice would be helpful thank you

I'm confused as what to do in this situation

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Hey,

It sounds like after what she's been though she needs counselling. Could you meet with her, and ask her to consider counselling first before she gets back with him because of the past and what he's like? Give her your reasons, make them factual. You could help her find a counsellor too.

I don't think there is anything else that you can do or say after this. You've argued about it and told her what you think. If she won't help herself and does get back together with him, if it was me, I'd let her know youre there if she needs to talk (if you want to).

I'm confused as what to do in this situation

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Hello Eyelesswhisper:

She is drawn to him, isn't she? She wants him in her life even know she knows rationally that it is not a good idea. Her draw to him is emotional, not rational. When you talk sense to her, you are not making the difference for her that she needs. She already rejected the rational in favor of the emotional.

Let's say you yourself agree to what I just wrote but you continue to try and talk sense to her, ignoring yourself the logical and rational. What does it mean? Does it not mean that you are drawn to her correcting her ways, that your draw is emotional as well, defying logic?

And so, better make our choices emotional and rational, not emotional or rational, but both.

anita

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