Feeling so confused
Hi I’m new and have been searching for somewhere to get advice I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. I’ve been married for 8 years we are a blended family and have 3 children together. For the first 6 years my husband was doing meth in secret I never new I had no idea so I was shattered when the truth came out there was all sorts of lieing and craziness going on and I still feel like I don’t have much trust even tho it has been 2 years clean I’m always on guard and suspicious.
While he ended up going to jail I got me and the kids social houseing and make my own income to cover everything. Now he is home and has been clean 2 years he is working again and makes a large amount of money he gives me small amounts of this money and spends the rest on whatever he wants it makes me so furious as I pay all the bills!! Sometimes he dousnt get any pay for a month or so and I still pay everything then when he works and gets a good pay he gives me a tiny amount it makes me soooo angry and one time I went into his bank and transferred over money into my account and then I told him the next day he went crazy saying he earnt they money ect ect this situation is makeing me absolutly hate him and I don’t no what to do he has locked me out of his iPad and laptop so I can’t see how much he gets paid. For example he gave me 250 dollars after over a month of not giveing anything towards all the costs then I found out he had been paid 6000 and it just made me so furious. And he says all I want is money and is so selfish!!! Now I see he’s looking on sites to buy a new vehicle looking at 7000 dollar cars and he’s only given me 250 dollars. I’m pretty sure this is not normal??? What do I do I desperately need advice I sleep on the couch every night now and I’m getting so angry and bitter about it I feel like I’m being used but we are married and have a family help
I would be furious too, in your position. The situation is so unjust that naturally it makes one very angry. If I was in your position, I wouldn't be able to have physical intimacy with him. I don't even know if I would be able to look at him.
The injustice is toward you and toward the children you share. It is indeed infuriating.
I don't see anything you can do to change his choices other than going the legal route, which would be I think getting a separation, a divorce and a legally binding financial arrangement.
But then, since he doesn't work regularly, as I understand it, he may choose to not work much if the money goes to you and the children.
A sad situation indeed. What are you thinking of doing?