To see him or not
okay .... i'm not the kind of person who talks about his problems , but i'll try as hard as i can to explain this , cos it really started to bother me ,,,
i'm 21 years old , and i'm really not the type of a girl who has alot of relationships , i've lived most of my life away from men , i really don't know why , maybe it's because i've had issues with my dad , maybe because i realy don't have enough confidence reguarding my looks , i don't know ... i've just lived without love ,, it was boring but i was used to it ,,, about a year ago .. i met some guy online , it was almost the first time in my life that i connect to someone so fast , he was charming , fun , smart , well educated and the most important thing he could understand me and was able to make his way althruogh my heart ,,, i'v been talking to the guy online since over a year , till we reached to the point where we can't make it through the day without talking to each other ,,, it's fascinating how we could connect to each other's minds ,,, he's the perfect soulmate for me ,,,
my problem now , is that he of course wants to see me in person ,, but i don't have enough courage ,,, he showed me his photos , he is a hot guy , u know the kind that girls would drop dead for ,,, and i'm not ugly , but i'm really not as cute as he is ,, i got the feeling that i'm not the correct match for such a hot guy as him ,,, as i know i'm not as all the girls he has dated before , he really didn't ask to see a photo of me , all he wants is to meet me in person so thet we can start the second phase of our relationship ,, i've expressed my fears that he might not like how i look like ,, and ofcourse as any gentle guy he replied by saying that he likes my soul and he'd be okay of the way i look however it was ,,, i'm thinkng it's a nice saying , but life is not s fairy tale , physical appearnce does matter and it matters sometimes more than other stuff ... i'm freaked out that if i meet him personally and i turn out to be not as he expected , or if we don't get attracted physically ,, he'll leave me , after he became my world ,,,
what makes it worse is that as i said before i haven't had relationships , and i don't have the talent to talk to men , my confidence is zero and my shinees is to the extreme when i'm infront of a guy , so , in addition to my lack of good looks , i also lack confidence and social qualaties to attract the guy in the real world as much as i attracted him in the virtual world where the minds rule , i'v been over a year with him , and if this was going somewhere i have to see him , but i've been postponding again and again ,, i lately even started considering that i need to have plastic surgery before i meet him , i know it sounds stupid ,,, but i really am afraid that if he sees me he won't like my appearnce ,, and that it'll bacame akward out of my shyness , i'm afraid he'll lose intrest and my beutifull dream will be over and i know that it will break my heart forever ,,,
please help me out ,
You have got to follow your heart. You can't change your appearance on the basis it might make you feel more comfortable meeting him. What if you had work done, and then he still broke contact or rejected a further development in your relationship / connection? You would be even more devastated, because you had even gone to the extreme to please him.
Just because you have been in contact for a year, don't let your guard down. People may not be who they seem, and you may not yet know all you need to without meeting him, and spending real time together. If and when you meet, you are still on a first date - you just have a lot more in common than a usual non-internet formed relationship.
If you don't take a leap of faith and meet him, you may regret it for the rest of your life. There are risks either way, but surely it is better to cross the road earlier in your life, give it a try, and don't assume that he is the only person you have a connection with on this level. The more you open up to others, the more confident you will become with others.
Have a nice weekend xx