Feeling very left out of my friendship group
Myself and 2 other ladies have been good friends for a long time we have been through a lot together over the years , illnesses, breavement family problems has been very much something we have helped one and other through.
It's been myself recently that has had the struggle I've got severe depression and anxiety I'm feeling sad that one of my friends now doesn't seem to have a lot of time for me but is meeting up with the other friend and I'm not invited.
I spent hours with this friend when she was having a very bad time but I feel even though I'm suffering now she doesn't contact me to see if I am ok and I get it that yes I'm down in the dumps and probably not the best of company but I feel hurt
Hello Royal Baby:
"severe depression and anxiety" reads severe indeed. I hope you get help and feel better very soon.
It is too bad that you were there for your friend when she was going through difficult times (and she has been there for you too, in the past, correct?), but she hasn't been there for you this time. It only has been recent, you wrote, that you've been experiencing this severe depression and anxiety, not that it has been going on for many months or years, so it is puzzling, isn't it, that she did not support you for this short time.
Yes this diagnosis of depression is in its early stages although I've been suffering a long time I've only just had the courage to try and do something about it, my 2 friends are the only people who I can talk too they know my situation but the fact friend one (I'll call her that it's easier) has been through this herself and now is excluding me and inviting friend 2 out and I don't even get so much as a phone call to see how I am , without sounding like I want a medal when friend one was suffering I was there day and night even when she would tell me I don't want a visitor I'm not in a good place I'd still send her a message saying that I understood and I would always be there for her, friend 2 didn't really go out of her way to visit well not as much as me , I just think maybe she does just prefer her company it's hurtful but maybe the truth does hurt xx
Hello Royal Baby:
There is such a thing as selfishness. Maybe friend one is just that, selfish. That is, she does what makes her feel good (get together with friend 2 who is cheerful, maybe) and avoid what doesn't make her feel goo, being there for you because you are depressed. It is not the first time and won't be the last where kindness is not reciprocated. I understand your sadness and disappointment over this. I wish it was different for you.
Thanks for showing kindness it's funny how telling your problems to someone who you have never met is easier, I am a very caring person always have been I am quite a softy deep down and I honestly would do anything for anyone, sometimes though I find it's not always a good way to be, I have this problem where I care and look out for people fight their corner but when I thought about the last time someone did something nice for me I honestly couldn't remember, so this now makes me sad and I feel like I'm a doormat so part of me thinks right I'll stop bothering about others and leave people to sort out their own life's etc but that's not me it's not who I am , god messed up or what ?
Hello again, Royal Baby:
You are welcome. If I believed in god, I wouldn't think he messed up creating you, not at all!
But it is natural to do well in Win-Win relationships, win for you, win for the other person. What you described are relationships/ associations that are Lose-Win, lose for you, win for the other person. It is not healthy to have Lose-Win or Lose-Lose relationships, when that happens we feel used because... we are used.
See to it that you get your Win and if you don't, lose the relationship (that sounds good, doesn't it, get your Win or lose the relationship (worth repeating?)
Some people come into your life for a reason and some for a season....Looks like she was there for a season. This means it's time to search for another friend. Don't let this one person drag you down. You were meant to be there for her. Once your purpose has been served, sometimes things end. God always has plans for everyone, poor or rich. Keep your head up. Be strong and continue to live the best life you can. GOd gave you senses...You can see beauty anywhere, smell fresh baked cookies, see movies that inspire you, etc.
You are meant through go through this to build your character. Trust in the lord and he shall guide you...
Perhaps your friend does not feel well enough to help you at this time.
She is also not a counselor, so she is wisely not getting involved.
Talk to your friend directly and ask what happened. I think a friend might be able to answer.