PeoplesProblems Logo

Stupid in love

Default profile image
First here is a little back story on how me and my son father met. We met a year ago and he was living in one state and me in another and I would travel to see him twice a month for the weekend. Everything was good until I found out I was pregnant and that he was trying to rekindle some feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I was hurt by this but at the same time I had to deal with the consequences of my actions and the fact that we never had a title to what we were to each other I guess you can say we was friends with benefits. I end up moving to his state because I wanted to give him a chance to experience everything with the pregnancy and let's just say things didn't go as planned for him and his ex-girlfriend. He has been living with me since I moved to his state and we still don't have a title to what we are. I'm just so confused because at times we act like we are in a relationship but he always claims me as his son mother. Than there's the problem with sex, while I was pregnant we really didn't have it because he claimed it didn't feel right and plus he didn't want to complicate things and now that I had my son which was Dec 27th 2017 we finally had sex April 7th 2018. Now the problem is I want more sex and he is not trying to have sex and his excuse is that he don't want to keep constantly having sex because he don't want to get bored but he is always touching and teasing me so I was a little confused and had to ask him if my sex was bad and he said no but he just really messed my head up with that excuse. I also wonder if it has something to do with our age difference he is 26 and I'm 33.

Stupid in love

Default profile image
This sounds like this relationship is all one- sided - yours. Not there for you - sexually, emotionally, socially, and financially. He sounds like he expects women to put in all the effort. Does he work? Does he step up in fathering the child? Can you list his good qualities? Because I’m not seeing one in your post. PS - 33 year old men should be VERY sexually active.

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Yes he works and he is an excellent father. Overall he is a good person it's just when it comes to me I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick and I know 33yr old men are sexually active he just who I want to be with.

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Hello Lynnthomas21: I hope he is a good father. If he is, that is a whole lot that he keep being for your son. He has never made a relationship commitment to you, therefore he has not broken any commitment to you. The sex thing, you can ask him to not tease you that way. Also, better not put any pressure on him to have sex with you, not a good idea to try and force something that either a person wants or doesn't want. I figure your best chances for a future committed relationship with him is to no longer initiate or express to him your interest in having sex with him, to live as independently from him as you can, other than co parenting and a friendship with him. anita

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Thank you Anita and I don't I just asked and this is what he told me I will not be asking him again and I have told him to not play with me in that way and the only reason I asked in the first place is because he is my son father and I have needs.

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Hello again, Lynnthomas21: I understand. I wish you did have your needs met with this man, the father of your child. I understand you asking him before. Thing is for the purpose of a possible future relationship of the kind you want, better not ask. Maybe he will approach you for a more intimate relationship, emotionally and physically. Maybe he will not. I don't know, of course, and neither do you. Sometimes all we can do is to increase our chances of getting what we need and want (no way to surely get it). anita

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Yeah since I made this posted I have really set back and looked at our situationship and cane to the conclusion that he is just selfish and that I have always gotten the short end of the stick so I'm just going to leave it alone and just keep it at a Co parent relationship because we not going to work as anything else

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Hello Lynnthomas21: It is not a good way to live, to accept the short end of the stick. Your resolution therefore reads reasonable to me. Hope to read from you again as you go about implementing your resolution to limit your relationship with him to co parenting. anita

Stupid in love

Default profile image
Anita thank you for your feedback and I will be posting updates

Stupid in love

Default profile image
You are welcome, Lynnthomas21. I am looking forward to your updates. anita

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-1