I want to quickly graduate but....
Hello i'm new here,
Today i just woke up and thinking i don't know what to do anymore so i want to at least share this to make me feel somehow better
So right now i'm on my last semester as a university student, my major is architecture btw. So in my campus if we want to graduate we must go through this final exam thing, and this exam has been so far really hard for me
We would have to this exam for about 2 months, and even before enterinng this exam, theres a special drawing exam that decided wether or not ur ready to enter the final exam period fo 2 months.
My problem is i can't even do good on thia special exam....
Its so hard and everyone else were so good
The results would be tommorow and i don't even know if i could pass
I'm really afraid if i get a no and then i have to wait for over 3 months to take this stupid exam again
And the worst thing is that i don't even like this field. Back when i was in 2nd semester it was so hard i want to change major. But then i remember my parents and money.... and I couldn't do it
I' m stuck doing things i don't like
I feel like i want to cry
I want to give up
But i can't
And this been so hard on me
All i wanna do is to just quickly graduate and work so my mom wouldn't suffer so much
But this exam is killing me
I am such a useless human being
Reads to me that your greatest concern is to do what needs to be done and quickly so that your mother will not suffer anymore ("All I wanna do is to just quickly graduate and work so my mom wouldn't suffer so much").
Your intense concern for your mother's suffering is causing you lots of suffering.
Will you share here about your mother's suffering: what kind of suffering, does she tell you how much she suffers, since when, how...?
There aren't any perfect solutions to not doing something you love. The way I see it is, your options are this.
1. Find a new major (probably not very worthwhile this far in).
2. Find a way to muddle through current major (even if you have to retake the test, you can study hard and pass it. Three months seems like forever now, but in the whole scheme of your life, it's not all that long). Then find something that incorporates aspects of architecture into something you love. (This would be my recommendation.)
3. Drop out all together.
Sometimes it helps to focus on the good. What do you enjoy about your major? What would make you love it more? What do you hope to get out of it? How could you change it in a way that you might love it (or aspects of it)?
Also remind yourself that this is just a moment. It will pass and you will be DONE. That's a great feeling, right? It might help you get a calendar and just cross those pesky days off.
Give yourself time to cry about it why don't ya?
After you're done crying, focus on the goal, and ignore your fears and just do it, boi. DO IT.
Or say goodbye to all of the money wasted that you have to pay if you took loans. Regardless of you finishing or not.