Need help with this one but don't want to come off the wrong way
So, I'll try to keep this short.
About 3 years ago, my sister and I moved to AZ to build our business. Coming from the expensive parts of California, we needed to save money and expand our living spaces so we have room to grow our business inventory. AZ housing is very inexpensive and beautiful. We've been here for the last 3 going on 4 years.
A situation happened with our immediate family back home in cali so THEY suggested they move out to AZ with us so they can get things together. We were ok with it. We live in a 3 bedroom house and there just isn't enough space for all of them especially since we have our business and my sis has a son. So, We are now searching for a bigger house to fit everyone including ourselves, our business equipment, inventory, office etc.. When we looked at homes, automatically the master bedroom is suggested (not by us) to go to my mother, my dad is firm on wanting the room on the first floor and my younger sister wants whatever room suits her. Just fyi, I am 33 years old.
I have a huge issue with switching up my lifestyle. Is it wrong for me to feel some kind of way about my family moving in town with us, staying with us and then once we get a bigger home we lose out on pretty much everything.. the master bedroom, our office which is usually on the first floor and our freedom (pretty much). I even brought the idea up about my sister and I just getting our own place and tension rose. I mean, I dont mind them living with us, but shouldn't they be the one asking about what rooms they get? And how the housing situation will work? We come from a super strong respectable household so I dont want to be disrespectful or come off rude or petty. I just feel like we're losing ourselves. It feels like I'm a teenager all over again living under my parent roof. We pay all of the Bills here. How should we handle this situation?
Absolutely you should be directing this “project” of providing housing for all your relatives. (I won’t get involved in whether or not you should even feel as though you need to do this - or their finacial contribtion to it all.)
MUST they move in? How about renting them their own house nearby?
You are right: you will become the child again if the family moves in with you. Re- think all options.
No I don't think you are rude if you express your concerns to your immediate family. I think it is rude for them to have rained on your parade, on yours and your sister and her son's parade that is. You were happy in the house you were in, doing well... and then they showed up, correct? Not considering if their move is welcomed, if it will be helpful or harmful to you.
I think that you should undo the damage done best you can, resurrect the good, workable situation you had before they arrived, best you can by not having then live with you.
You don't want others to live with you and sis? Why? Why are you still living with sis at your age? Aren't you a grown ass 33yo?
You need a girlfriend. One that isn't related to you.
So you have 3 rooms available right now and you, your sis, and a kid.
But you indicate loss for a master suite as if you share it.
Because you have mentioned office a couple of times, meaning 1 room out of 3 is specifically office space.
Doesn't take a genius to figure the kid needs a room, so 2 out of 3 is taken.
Meaning you share one with your sis.
No wonder why your dada is pissy. Something smells fishy and it ain't fish
ARROW123 My sister and I are twins and came out here to AZ to build and invest in our at home business. It would be smart to live together since we are owners of the same business we are building, correct? Saving money as well. And who made this rule that you cant live with a family members at age 33? You? Please, no ignorant responses....
Oh nevermind...you're a child. Carry on lol.
Hi SUSIEDQQ I agree! We were very happy! Not to sound as if we are unhappy now. I never thought that we would be taking steps backwards in life. I wish my sister an I didnt have to be the negative ones by addressing this. Because, knowing our family, They will view it negatively. I kind of wish they would ask and notice our situation here. I wish I could show you a photo of our house before they moved in and our house now. Sometimes I feel like those episodes of hoarders. It's bad and dont know how to address it to them.
All I'm seeing are excuses. Facts remain.
You either quit complaining like a baby, or you grow up and move.
For all I know this business is BS
NEWLIFE12345 Thanks Anita! That really helped me come up with a good idea! I'm thinking to move into a bigger home, move my furniture in, then distribute the rooms out. I just hope no one is offended. I love my family and i want to help the best way I can but I have a hard time adapting to change especially re living with my parents and youngest sister again. But like you said, it's definitely workable!
Why don’t you rent a house nearby your home for them and their stuff?
Why must they actually live with you?
Are your parents ill or elderly?
Have you figured out a budget and determined their financial obligation to make this work?
You are welcome, Phoenix619. Take good care of yourself first. Make your life workable for you.
There's a house down the street for rent.