Coming on too strong !!
After an awful relationship I have been single for 2.5 years (by choice!) I was ready to date again and after a few false starts I met a guy in the Navy. He is posted about an hour away which is fine because it means we can take things slowly-or so I thought!
We were meant to be seeing each other on Friday of this weekend- he has a daughter and would be seeing her the other days. Fine... He then advises that he can see me on Saturday and Sunday also. I advise that Sunday is too much , plus I would like to see my Mother on that day.
That all seemed fine until last night he advised he was on a course this coming week in my area and wished to see me Monday Tuesday and Wednesday and "I know I am pushing my luck but stay over"- are alarm bells going off yet lol??
We have been seeing each other exclusively for 4 weeks. He has stayed over at my invitation but to see him Friday , Saturday and then Monday Tues etc is too much! I work and I am up at 06.30 in the week. PLUS shouldn't the invitation to stay come from me??
I have explained its too much and that I feel he is not respecting my boundaries. He apologised but suggested I take it as a compliment!! He also said he just wants to see me as he is 'besotted' and what's wrong with that?!
As someone who took time to get back into the dating game this is petrifying.
I have withdrawn a little and now he is worried he has scared me off so is sending regular texts ... HELP!!
I do like this guy, he has a lot of very good qualities. We are both in our 40's .
It is not a bad thing that he wants to see you often and by itself it is a compliment of sorts: he likes you. On the other hand if you told him clearly. let's say, that you want to see him once a week, and he suggested to see you three times a week, then you reminded him that you want to see him only once a week and he suggested yet again to see you three times a week, then him ignoring your assertion is not a compliment.
Make sure your communication to him is clear, that your assertion is straightforward, honest and clear. If then he doesn't respect it, then it is a real problem.
Yes, the invitation to increase or expand this relationship at your own house should come from you.
Unless YOU realize that, you are going to feel as though HE is running the show.
Was this an issue in your past “awful” relationship?
Hi Susie . I had an abusive relationship last time. He is in prison now... yeh awful!
This guy doesn’t seem to be a bad Person but he is coming in too strong. He also tries to buy me things and give me money. I say it’s too much but he continues. He wants a lot of attention and contact and I try to tell him it’s early days - relax!! That doesn’t seem to happen . He likes to know a week in advance when we are seeing each other and times everything . He said he’s besotted! I’m feeling the need to run away!
He’s suffocating you?
Be firm that he understands you are not some kind of a military manuever that he must complete within a short time frame.
No need to feel he has to “ conquer” you!
How much do you know about his past? Is this how he approaches things in general?
Thank you for your response I have ended it. Now I have angry text messages from him. It would seem I have dodged a bullet!