Marriage breakup, depression and emotional trauma
I'm an M.Phil specialized and a certified CLSSS. I was married at the age of 26 and at time I was pursuing my degree, my father in law insisted on this decision although it was against my will and my wife was reluctant. however I had to go along as he was okay with me not having a job at that time. After marriage I started working as a content writer and started to look after my wife's expenses and to keep her happy. My father looked after the house expenses so to keep off the burden from me. My father is a businessman, however, my in laws insisted that I should do a job. Although I wanted to start my own business, however my in laws started to intervene and cause problems for me as my wife used to listen to her parents, and they used to brief her that I should do as they wish, and not follow my own dreams.
My father in law usef to belittle me and make comparisons of me with my brother in laws, which would often hurt my wife but for some reason she was under strong influence of her parents and her brothers. She never asked them to stop intervening. They used to label me as a failure through indirect criticism and lower my self esteem. I also have a daughter, and she is two years old. I loved my wife and my daughter, I usef to celebrate their birthdays, and often take them out for shopping or dinner, my wife was happy, but she wanted me to earn more,and I used to tell her that as soon as I complete my degree im going to find a better job, and start a business as a part time blogger to increase our living standard, she also wanted to do a job and she had my support, my mother was willing to look after our daughter while we both are at work, however I encouraged her to complete her degree first so she can find a better opportunity. She was convinced, because her studies were left incomplete when her father decided to marru her.
The problem was when she used to visit her parents and return home her attitude would change, she used to have heated arguments with me. And one day, my father in law came to my house, insulted and abused me, he took my wife and child away, and whem I attempted to stop him, he raised his hand on me. later that night me and my parents went to their house to try and convince my wife to come back, but things were changed, my father in law insulted and abused me and my parents, and my wife, the women I loved turned against me. now he has restricted me to meet my wife and I can only meet my child once a week and I have to stay away for months, until I find a job as per his terms and conditions.
My child is traumatized, whenever she visits me she cries and doesnt want to leave but I have to drop her back. im under severe depression and anxiety, although now I have a job, but my father in law says that he will return my wife and child whenever he wills. I can understand that he is an uneducated LDC in govt institution, but my wife should understand, I dont know why she is following her fathers will and hurting me, and destroying my childs psychology in the process.
I cant come out of depression, and anxiety, my parents say that I have to wait till she realizes and returns, but how should I cope with my emotions a anxiety. I get flashbacks of how I was insulted in front of my child, and my wife kept watching and participated in the insult. please help
Unfortunately, your wife has chosen to follow the cultural and extreme family social norms instead of honoring her marriage vows to stand by her husband.
Find a counselor to discuss this problem in joint marriage counseling.
You must bring in other professionals to help you and to ensure that you keep a relationship with your daughter.
My father in law is not only involved, he is a criminal minded, sadistic human being. My wife used to tell me that her father used to beat up his wife, and he even tried to murder his son by throwing a knife at him in rage and anger. He is a psychotic human being. A man who broke into my house, abused my mother, got into her face, he harrassed her, attacked me, the guards in my neighborhood tried to stop him but he took off with my child, and my wife got into his car even I asked her to stop. He was also involved in the case of forging signatures of higher authoroties within the building control department where he works as a lower division clerk. he had fake stamps of those authorities, he even forged their signatures to approve documents for approval of illegal construction. He was using my wife to forge the signatures, when I attempted to stop.my.wife from.indulging into this activity, she told her father that she wont do.it. she also told him that I know about his activities. that is when the problem.started. Now i've come to know that job is not the real issue, if it were then why didnt he bring this up earlier, why only now.. he has been manipulating my wife, against me, just to let me down, and now he used her against me as revenge for stopping my wife from indulging into his crime. he used to give her money for forging a signature, and.persuaded her against my will. now he even took my daughter away from me, to break me. made allegations that I dont earn and my wife is not happy with me and that is why he took his daughter away.
that is a lie, my wife loved me, just month ago we celebrated our daughters birthday, and the neighborhood I live in is witness to our healthy relationship. I dont want to part with my wife, that would cause a negative impact on my child. he even erased all evidences, now the only way to prove me right is that somehow my wife does the right thing. members from my family and hers (our uncles) are trying to resolve this matter, but my wife needs to tell them the truth about her father and testify that her father did involve her into his forgery business and that is where the problem started, she has to do what is righr for the sake of her child, and our relationship so that members of our family can take the right actions in the best interest of her, me and our child. but her father is. constantly manipulating her, and briefing her against me. can anyone tell me what can be done against such a manipulative and liar type of person..I need to save my relationship
How do you plan to “save” this marriage with an unwilling partner?