Being used for sex in a healthy, committed relationship?
My boyfriend of 2 years just told me that our lovemaking last night was for his enjoyment only. He said he used me for sex. He thinks I should be flattered that he chose to have sex with me rather than to masturbate. Typically, he is a very good lover and is concerned about my enjoyment and pleasure during sex. He says it is completely normal in a committed relationship for him to want to use me to get his needs met sexually. He says if others are being honest, they will admit that it is normal to just 'want to have sex' and not care about pleasuring their partner. Thoughts?
Honestly, my thoughts are not for polite company. He is close to admitting rape is ok... I would rather him masturbate to be honest. Its awful!
Is the relationship good apart from his selfish behaviour ?
He's telling you who he really is, and you need to believe him. Run for the nearest exit. Even if he treats you decently, it's still borne out of his own selfishness. Unless you are also only in it for what you get out of sex, then whatever floats your boat. But if you're looking for a relationship where you're viewed as an equal partner, this is never going to be that. If your needs don't matter in bed, then you should wonder if you matter at all. He may be a nice enough guy, but when someone says something like that, it should be a huge red flag. It sounds like he's bought into rape culture, and/or incel ideology. I'd not want anyone I care about involved with someone like that.
What he might be saying is that he was more horney than you were at that particular time, and it became all about him and his needs.
Perhaps he said that bluntly and grossly, But you can let this one pass because you said he normally acts with consideration and attention to your needs.
There is a difference between using and misusing, therefore between being used and misused. What your boyfriend told you does not alarm me, except for this part where he said that you should be flattered. I didn't get this part: what do you think he meant by it?