What should I do when I love my best friend?
So I have this best friend who I am in love with. My problem is everytime I like someone I straight away go and tell them and then I get rejected. Unfortunately I ended up doing the same with the most important person in my life. I told her last November that I loved her. She didn't feel the same. We took some distance for some weeks. I convinced her I was over her. In reality I didn't even try. I didn't want to. I loved her. I have known her for 5 years. We have been the bestest of friends. We know every small thing about each other. So after that we got back to being firends. We are better friends now then ever before. But I still love her. She means the world to me. I always make it my aim to see her happy. We have through a lot of shit all these years but our friendship only grew each and every day. The thing is she lives in a different city due where she lives in her college hostel. 2 years from now I plan to leave the country to study abroad. And our already long distance friendship will have to face even more long distance. Till now distance was never a problem. We in fact grew closer. In our friendship distance will never be a problem that's what I am sure of. But the problem is I fucking love her. More than anything in the world. I have till now kept my urge aside and haven't told her my feelings. I know our friendship will survive it. But I don't know if I will. I can't imagine a life without her. But at the same time, I do realise that we live apart and may never even be in the same country after 2 years. I don't know where my future takes me, but I know that I want to be with her. I am really so deeply in love with her. I don't know what to do. Should I stop trying to get her to like me ? Should I try to move on ? Should I just tell her what I feel ? I sm so fucking confused. Someone please help me.
You wrote: "I know our friendship will survive it. But I don't know if I will"- if you don't survive, nothing matters. Meaning, first priority is that you survive. (And how an a friendship survive if one of the two friends has not survived..)
So, yes, I think you should stop trying to get her to like you and you should move on. Attend to you, to you surviving and living a good life. You owe that to yourself.
Unrequited love is painful. If you want the pain to stop, your only option is to move on. You cannot make someone like you, nor should you have to try. As long as you keep yourself in this mindset, you'll be miserable. Getting over someone is difficult, but not as difficult as what you're doing to yourself now.
Put some actual distance between you and her. Take some time to get back in touch with yourself, and spend time with other people. Indulge your passions and hobbies. Travel. Meet new people and try new things.
Or stay stuck in this misery. It's entirely up to you.