I had a relationship about 15 years ago with a man I will call John. We were both married at the time and it ended when I was the one that ended it.
15 years later I looked him up on facebook a few months ago and was shocked what I saw.
He is now in a relationship and has been for about 3 years. The woman resembles me and he has posted so many pictures and comments that are related to me. I know they are because they are very personal. The worst part is he seems to be using this woman who, unknowingly has become an actress and acting out our life together. When I first saw it I was freaked out. I looked again and the feelings of jealousy rose up inside me like a monster and I couldn't control it. I did call him some weeks ago and he told me he is happy. Why did he do all of this to make me jealous only to tell me he was happy?
he only said three words to you "he was happy" nothing else? seems he is submarining you by using pictures of actress with appearances similar to you to bait you for interaction through jealousy of his new chick.
It is not unusual for people to be attracted to a certain look. I know a guy who married a series of “clone” , each one 20 years apart.
Why do you find it difficult to accept that he may like a certain “look”?
Why do you think this woman is an “actress”?
He has told you he is happy. End of story.
Put this in the past and move on.
Thanks for answering.
First of all, she is not an actress. She is his girlfriend of about 3 years. He may well like/love her I am sure, but I know he wants me.
There are too many coincidences for his posts to be random and it has been about a year now. Example-putting up pictures of speciality imported food that was important to us at the time. I am Australian, so many Australian references. Pictures of him putting arms around girlfriend wearing a shirt I bought him 15 years ago. Putting 'happy' posts up on my birthday, my daughter's birthday. He went out of his way to make me jealous. Even my friends agree with me and they would be the first to tell me if I was imagining it. I also lost weight and got quite fit over the last two years and if he has been watching me on facebook for the last 10 years, then he would have seen all my new profile pics of myself. He only started posting these things in the last 8 months so the timing makes sense.
He said more than 3 words on the phone. We talked for about 30 minutes about all kinds of things. So at the end of the conversation I asked him if he was happy and he said Yes, but I could tell he didn't want me to go. I could hear it in his voice. Have not spoken to him since, but he is still putting things on Facebook. Last week I blocked him on fb as I couldn't stand to see him with this woman anymore. My sister told me he put something on FB about someone being missing.
He is definately playing games with me, but I just don't know why and if he was REALLY happy with this woman he would not be using her to make me jealous on FB. So why is he doing this to me?
Any ideas? Thanks