Cheating on husband and best friend
last week my husband was in Korea to rap at a concert. i know very well he doesn't condone men in our home without him there. my best friend ex called me and ask if i could discuss how to charm my friend back to him? l told him my hubby was out of town on business so i could not have him in my home. we met at local coffee shop. i sat across from him and he immediately sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder and rested his hand on my breast. he is much bigger than me. i pulled away and admonished him about going overboard in familiarity. he said he noticed i smiled sexy at him last time he chatted with my hubby. he put his arm back around me and kissed me passionately. my husband was gone three days and i lustfully responded and so did not resist even knowing i should. he snapped a selfie clearly showing his hand caressing my breast. he said that he would not share it because he really liked me. we continued to make out and ended up going all the way at his pad including a couple of nudies after intercourse. i found out he knew my hubby was out of town so took advantage of me and hated my girlfriend anyway for breaking up with him.he had no interest in being with her just an avenue to get me alone.
my husband is a great provider and loves my son and me. i feel so ashamed of my momentary loss of control with his best friend. i very scared if he found what he would do to me and his best friend. i think he would get very physical and emotional to both of us. i gone church twice and confessed my sins but still feel guilt. i don't think i will cheat again but not completely sure.
should i bury this sin or disclose to husband or best friend? how can i know if i will be weak again? i asked him to delete naughty selfies and he agreed. i think from his perspective he would keep them as hot memories of bedding me and probably share to friends he bagged me when my husband was away.
Really don't like the sound of this man. he lied to you about the reasons why he wanted to meet you and (unbeknown to you) it sounds like he had this all planned out! Obviously it wasn't to discuss how he could get his ex your friend back. He lied and manipulated you, to me, that says just how untrustworthy he really is.
It sounds like there was very good reason why your friend ended their relationship and that's up to her.
yes, he could share this and the pic, (he deleted it, as far as you know, he can always get it bk) with anyone and it could get back to your husband.
I can understand your husband would be very upset/angry, but I don't like the fact he would become physically abusive towards you.
yes you cheated, and you must of been aware of what you were doing BUT this man actions where he touched you, took your pic and kissed you etc, all without permission(?) were more then wrong. He doesn't care that he's left you in this situation. I think he thinks he can brag about this and get away with it or wouldn't be too bothered if your husband did find out. You said he's a lot bigger then you, so we're you scared of his reaction if you didn't do what he wanted ?
Feel weak again ? When have you felt weak before?
'I don't think I will cheat again but not completely sure?' Why make the same mistake again? Are you unhappy ? (Sorry horrible question but felt like i needed to ask).
I would not confine in your best friend but someone who you can really trust, or on here, to help you decide what to do and who to have around, if/when you do tell husband. I think support around you will def be needed. I wouldn't go near this man either.
Found it quite hard to answer this, I hope someone else has can give better advice then me!
i am unhappy i did it and was conned by my friends ex boyfriend. i don't plan see him again ever. i never weak before this encounter just stay home when husband out of town. scared of husband i was never scared of girlfriend ex did it out of lust not fear. not one time lover. husband will big fight with me and girlfriends ex if notified. i am unhappy did it.
you asked many questions but no answer questions (should i bury this sin or disclose to husband or best friend? how can i know if i will be weak again?)
Telling you husband - That's a hard question coz this situation isn't straightforward, but here is what I think.
Your husband would need to hear what happened, I'm not too sure if he would be any less angry or upset but it sounds like man was aggressive in trying to get what he wanted, whilst trying to charm you into getting what he wanted with his 'sexy smile' one liner. Is your husband capable of listening or does he get angry quickly and not listen?
If I didn't know your husband might physically hurt you, (no one wants that to happen) then I think being honest and telling him, is the right thing to do. Before he hears anything or potentially sees the pic that was supposedly deleted.
Since he might physical, yes, I would find someone, who is not involved in this, who will listen and potentially be there if you decide to tell him...or if he finds out.
When it comes to being weak, I would say you need to learn from this experience. Remember the guilt and how unhappy you feel right now. Ask yourself is it actually worth the anxiety and feeling unhappy afterwards. And telling your husband?
If someone keeps make the same mistake again and again, and they are not bothering to learn anything from it, then I think they need to ask themselves why.
i told my husband finally because shamed and scared. my family and friends said take punishment better if from me than others people. results friend ex in hospital, husband in jail waiting for court date for assult and i just slapped around a little by husband.
i promise husband i never do again and only love him after him yelling and slapping me around awhile.
i think crisis is over for me as husband very loved when visiting jail yesterday.
BUNNYHABIT? Not good BUNNYHABIT a physically abusive husband is not good. Who knows what the outcome will be of the Court decisions.
i am very happy with his response should have been much worse for my sin. didn't even hurt. i deserved more discomfort than received. not my first spanking. what would you do if your wife? kiss her and say no problem honey? court decision is between my husband and guy that messed with me. i believe he will drop charges to avoid another conflict with my husband's friends. i think judging will be minimal based on reason for my husband fighting on him.
Slapped around for a while and you think you deserved worse and are happy with this...Really? Also even more worryingly, not the first time?
Of course it not, 'not problem', Cheating is so wrong, but so is physically hitting your partner.
If you get caught cheating, or confess what you did, you would have to face the consequences. Consequences as in being; be prepared for partner to be angry, upset and to maybe end the relationship. Or go to couple counselling and work through the problems.
But for your husband to slap you around for a while, that is abuse and it's wrong. Look where he's ended up for being psychical. Two wrongs don't make a right.
i much prefer current outcome to... "maybe end the relationship. Or go to couple counselling and work through the problems." but thank you for your overly emotional perspective as to what you would do. i think you make a mountain out of a ant hill.
BUNNYHABIT obviously you don't have a problem with your husband slapping you around for you cheating on him. And really that's your business.
What would I do if I caught my wife cheating on me?
1. I'd say I don't own you I'm only married to you.
2. I'd say marriage is about love, trust and commitment which is what I thought we had when we married in the first place.
3. Then I'd say but then you don't owe me either so I'm going to open up a Tinder account.