He believes I cheated
I’m a wife and a mother. I’m a neighbor and a friend. And I would never kiss or have sex with a man who isn’t my husband.
I have a neighbor that I became friends with. He lives across the street with a few other guys. They’re good-hearted lads. And they’re respectful. I never had a problem with them. Whenever my husband was doing a night shift (and when my grandma was taking care of my baby), I would drink with my guy-neighbor and his friends. We had great talks and harmless fun. But one night, I drank far more beers than I could handle. I was at the neighbor’s house, having a good time with him and his friend. I started getting clumsy—falling down the stairs and tripping over my own feet. Then, towards the end of the night, I blacked out.
The next morning, I woke up in my bed, but my husband (who was home from work) was furious. He found dog poop in the other room (the neighbor I mentioned has a dog), and he accused me of inviting the neighbor over to “fool around.” He said that my pants were pulled half-way down my waist and my shirt was raised slightly above my bra. I was fully clothed. My underwear was still on. I was confused, because I didn’t remember how I got home in the first place. My husband called me mean names and said that I cheated on him.
Shortly after he yelled at me, I confronted my neighbor and asked him what happened when I blacked out. He said that he and his roommate took me home and put me to bed. The dog was in the house when they did so. But I told my neighbor about what my husband accused me of. Then, my neighbor became angry at me, saying that he’s not a monster and he wouldn’t take advantage of me. (He even said I could ask his roommate to verify what happened, and that he could talk to my husband.) But the more I fretted about my husband’s rage, the angrier my neighbor became. He looked hurt. He was so upset, that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I’ve been in more dangerous situations before involving alcohol and men. But I always remembered if I had slept with someone. In my heart, I believed my neighbor. And I believed I didn’t do anything wrong. But my husband won’t talk to me and he wants a divorce. What do I do?
Your husband wants a divorce?
Wow - that got real serious for him in spite of assurances from all parties involved.
Was this the first “incident”?
you should have got a rape test as soon as you're husband told you how he found you in bed. i suspect your husband was upset by your behavior hanging with two dudes when he was away. your behavior is not that of a respectable married person. good chance these dudes raped you while you were passed out and your hubby sensed it.
you need apologize to your husband and promise never to hang with men when he is not with you. admit your guilt by associating with men whilst married to him. slight possibility he will forgive and forget if you do a real pitiful apology for your misbehavior.
Your actions have seemed to of led your hubby into being paranoid and damaged the trust you had. A divorce does seem sudden, there is no evidence anything happened, this could be just a threat. It will take awhile for him to cool down give him the space he needs.
I can see why he's so upset and I'd say to you, turn this whole thing around, and ask your self how you would feel if he went off to a girl neighbours house, got paralytic and things ended in the same way.. What would your reaction be? Looking at it from his prospective will help you with that applogy and slowly make it up to him.
When you have a young family baby and hubby come first, going out drinking becomes less of a thing.