Having 'a right' over someone?
Hello, I'm new here and just looking for advice in my relationship.
I have a long-distance relationship with a young man my age. He's turkey, currently living there, and I'm swedish. We sometimes clash over values that are very different in our different cultures, seeing as my culture is very "western", independent and open. His culture can sometimes lean more to the eastern, more traditional and family-oriented. Another issue we have is a language barrier, and it's easy to misunderstand each other. Usually this is worked on and solved, but this time I don't know if the issue at hand is a misunderstanding or a cultural value that might break us apart.
So, to my concern.
I was going to send my partner a photo, but he wanted a short video message. I explained that I'd rather give a photo right now.
My partner says that he has a right to see me. What I think he means is that because we are in a relationship (altough not married), he has a right to see me, and I can't do as I please, and not give him photos or videos.
This viewpoint is something that worries and scares me. In my scandinavian culture, individuals can't have a right over someone else. Only if they both agreed on this. My view is that I don't need to send anything, that's my choice of what I want to show, and it's not something he can be angry at me for. But maybe I'm wrong? If this is a cultural difference, then wish I could explain to him, but I don't know how.
And does anyone else have any experience with the cultural values of west/east in relationships?
I'm very thankful for any input! Thanks for reading.
"rights over someone" is a slavery term. you should make it very clear to him that nobody owns you or ever will. your response should be what you decide and nobody else has a "right" to change your mind. some middle eastern people think males are superior to females. i am thinking he has been parented to believe that you must follow his instructions without questioning.
you need to establish equality in this relationship so that he understands your limits of compliance to his request.
I am assuming you have never seen each other?
Maybe he feels that after so long talking, it is time to share a visual of each other. And he prefers a video instead of a photo.
Is there some reason that you are hesitant to share this with him?