Why do I care about someone who doesn’t seem to care about me?
This is the first time I’ve ever gone in a chat room so I don’t know what to expect. All I know is I have no one to talk to or no one that won’t judge me anyway. My problem seems to be I’m so desperate for a relationship or at least a bit of attention I’m seeking it from the wrong men and to be relatively they don’t even want me. I think I’m just pathitic!
Time to make better choices in men.
Attend some classes at your local women’s center that help in emotional growth and personal well being. Once you like and honor yourself, you will want to be around people who affirm you and your life.
Obviously you are longing for the affection and company of anyone of the opposite sex so are grabbing whoever flirts with you. your self value will be recognized by potential guys. if you act pathetic you will draw guys looking for a quick sexual encounter with a hungry kitty.
until you love yourself nobody else can. how did you determine tbey don't even want me?
spend some time with a therapist investigating the basis for your low self esteem and developing a corrective action plan before you persue a meaningful relationship with a proper man.
I am in a similar situation, except I'm a guy who always desperately wants female attention.
Sometimes I get too into women who really don't want anything serious, and I grow to like things about them while they hardly give me a second thought. Sometimes I just move too quickly. And then other times yet I am even kind of like the guys you seem to be encountering - making mistakes and wasting the time of a girl who I don't see a future with.
The first thing you have to realize is, you're not pathetic. I actually think most people have similar problems in finding companionship. It's difficult and nobody said it would be easy. I think some people are more outgoing or easygoing, so finding a good match is easier for them. But most of us don't immediately strike gold and find our lifelong partner, usually it takes time and getting to know many different people.
You may really want to find something more serious and long-term, but in the meantime you could decide you're open to dating less serious people, or think that maybe you'd like to be less serious for now. There's nothing wrong with that either, though I think you know best what is right for you. When you're uncertain about what you want for sure, I know it can get difficult because you're conflicted about what kind of person is right for you now.
Keep in mind that there also is no perfect match for everyone, and that a relationship takes a lot of work. But don't settle if you can't see yourself happy with someone long-term. But make sure the guy you stick with is good to you, and really cares for you. They have to be someone who you can relax around, and have mutual fun with. Feelings could change, but maybe sometimes temporary relationships can help us to grow and become better people - or to at least learn what works and what doesn't for us.
I hope something I've added here is useful for you, Jasmine1.
I've been on the receiving end of a relationship something like the one you were in. I need man's opinion on why does a man introduce you to family and friends as their future wife and then a few months down the line he posts on Facebook he's going to another state that he's going pick up his future bride.
Well it's curious that he introduced you as his future wife. Did you feel like the two of you were at that point then? Were you dating very long, and talking about marriage?
Feelings can change. I am sure there is more to your story, but people can realize over time that they're just not right for each other, or find a better match. Or maybe something happened like he got her pregnant? Or he could just be an arse.
A woman I was dating introduced me to her children, and I stayed the night with her and her family a couple of times. It was the first time I really dated someone with kids, and I tried to make a good first impression.
I was confused by why a woman would introduce a guy to her kids and family members when, apparently, she wasn't looking for anything serious.
She was really offended by this, and felt like I was telling her what to do and how to live her life. I get that the kids are part of a packaged deal, but it's got to be weird for the kids seeing mommy with some new guy every so often.
If you want my opinion, I wouldn't let marriage come into the picture at all. Find a guy who can stick to calling you his girl.
We were school mates over 30yrs ago and he ran behind me all throughout high school. So yrs later after he divorced and I divorced I decided to give him a chance. Other than the long distance thing, I thought we were getting along fairly well. Until he was so cowardly and posted that he was going out of state to bring his future bride to his home state on Facebook. Even his family was surprised. I stay in the same state as them, so they knew it wasn't me.
And just last year I was gonna be the new Mrs. Not that I'm stalking, but there are no pictures or posts on Facebook about him and her. He did go there to move her, but it's still like she's a secret. I cried the first 2 days. 1. Because I was hurt he couldn't tell me himself.
2. Because now all those years of friendship have gone down the drain because we over-stepped that line. I told him once we crossed that line we could never go back.
Regarding your situation; maybe there is no "she" maybe this was his cowardly way of cutting it off with you. I would say good riddance to bad rubbish. This is not the kind a man any woman would want. So count your blessings; you dodged a bullet.
Stick with your convictions and always remember he how he crossed that line, this is who he is.
Good Luck to you.
I disagree that you require emotional growth, and there is no such thing as mature emotion, emotion is emotion. If anything you require less emotion, not more. Neither do I believe that joining a relationship group will likely benefit you. "The wrong men", is this down to anything collectively obvious, such as them being much younger of years for instance. I had to give up on any notion of a relationship years ago because I`m never even remotely attracted over the age of twenty five, I`m sixty two.
Why would n`t you care about her, unless you are suggesting that she is not worth caring about? Whether or not she cares about you, whilst it would of course be nice if she did, is actually totally immaterial. Most people fantasize about love from their own prospective too, their being loved, apart from sex, very few fantasize about actually doing the loving/the putting oneself last.
Lilredd, all I can say is feelings change. Situations change. If things aren't working out, people move on.
Two months ago, I started talking to a coworker of mine that I didn't really know that well, because she started to show interest in me. Prior to that I didn't acknowledge her because I was determined to meet a woman without children, but I decided to make an exception for something important to me for this woman. Suddenly I was looking at her family members as potential future family members of mine; at her kids as children who could one day be a part of my life.
That changed quickly when she left my workplace and started avoiding me. I made an effort to stay in contact with her, but after all the weeks of silence that had passed it just wasn't the same. And last month on a whim I met up with a friend of a friend because she seemed interesting. She has kids too, and I'm having a really hard time accepting this because one of them is really jealous of her getting attention from anyone else, even the younger kid, and throws fits constantly. I feel like her disciplining skills are kind of lousy as well. After hanging out two different times, I feel like this won't work out either. I am uncertain whether I will ever see either woman again.
You have to be dynamic and accept sudden changes, since there's any number of reasons why this guy wanted to marry you last year but then suddenly went off of the grid and resurfaced with a new bride.
Well I decided to get off of Fakebook so I wouldn't be tempted to see what's going on in his life right now. Sooner or later he will contact me again and I already know that I don't want to be a friend to him. If he wasn't so cowardly I might have considered it. I know there is someone else out there for me, and I'm willing to wait on him. I just have to find something to do with my time til then.