Ex boyfriend in my relationship
Hi I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and we no live between each other’s houses apart from 2 days where she has her own space. She keeps bees which she started doing with her ex and about a month ago she made an agreement with him that they would continue doing them together, I found out about this after the fact and wasn’t asked my feelings on the subject which surprised me as he had previously had visiting rights to the dog which I found strange (is this just me) the whole situation is making me very uncomfortable and he only comes when I am not there she doesn’t like me around he sometimes is there 4 days a week. Since I have found out she is texting him and on messenger with him ,she says it’s just bee stuff but I noticed he keeps sending her links to sites and places to take the children(they are not his by the way) I don’t see this as just bees she replied I just reply ok but won’t say anything and so we now always argue about it , her reply is I have a choice I can walk away which is not much of one as I am in love with her . I just feel so miserable at the moment am I getting this wrong.
Sounds like he has unfinished business.
Visits with the dog and the bee keeping can be done without her being home or her meeting him.
When will you think she will be ready to detach from him and make you the one and only? Because right now, you are the 75% guy.
Yeah this really does kind of sound like unfinished business, or else maybe your girlfriend trying really hard to maintain friendship with her ex or stay in contact for his well-being.
The part about you not being allowed to be around when he is there is kind of odd, as is him hanging out as much as 4 days a week. Does he know about you?
Sometimes if two people are together for a long time and break up, it can be a little hard on them. Beekeeping is something they both enjoyed and found together, and if they stopped talking the hobby might become less enjoyable for both of them since it would conjure bad memories. And I think most people don't want to just sever all ties completely.
But it's clear that this has become more than just beekeeping or visits with the dog. I feel like maybe the guy is having trouble letting go of the life they had enough to really move on with his own. Those kids may not be his, but they were probably a part of his life for a bit.
You are obviously very uncomfortable with this arrangement, and aren't getting a straightforward relationship with your girlfriend like he got to. Aside from maybe baby daddy, I doubt he had to scram so she could make time for hobbies with another ex.
You've voiced some of your concerns, but maybe you should sit down and have a discussion rather than an argument. Maybe she will be able to see where you're coming from, and maybe you'll get better answers about why your girlfriend is bending over backwards to accommodate this friendship with her ex.