Am I being too selfish?
My husband passed away almost 7 years ago. His only sibling left is an estranged sister and a stepsister. Long story short is that I got really close with her during his illness and passing. After he passed, I flew to her home in Florida to see her and was there for some of her grown kids events (like birth of a child, etc.). On her 60th bday, I also took her away for 2 days near her home and spent money and my time (I work full time, she does not).
Her husband got me involved with a pyramid scheme, except I had no way of knowing resulting in tremendous loss of my money only a year after my husband died. I have 2 kids to support so this has really hurt. He and his family also lost most of their money so it was hard for me to really be "mad". In any event, last summer was my 60th bday. My kids gave me a surprise party and while she and her H showed up, she thought she was going away with me and my sisters for my bday gift. My sisters gave me a camera for a trip I took with my kids instead. So then she said she'd still take me away to NYC to see a show or so. BUT it never happened. I felt awkward bring it up but when I did she would avoid the subject.
Now it's a year later - she has just filed for divorce from her husband of 40 years saying she hasn't loved him in a while and I recognize that her funds may be limited (she only works part time now) but she has lived very well for the last 20 years. In any event, I feel really hurt. If she wasn't able to fulfill her promise to me, she could at least visit me and we could go out for some time together for a nice dinner or something or send a gift card!
Am I being too selfish? I just feel pushed aside. To ignore her promise feels really crappy. And she invited a niece to visit her for a week - she has time for her and she kept on texting me that they were having a great time!!! Nice??
The story above is about my husband's stepsister that he was close with, not the other sister.
You said it yourself, this woman is getting divorced from her husband, and may be low on funds. And maybe the NYC trip suggestion wasn't so much something she could just do at a moment's notice, but something she would be willing to plan for?
It might be a little hurtful that she didn't have time for you after you two became close and you took her on a trip, but she is spending time with a niece - family. The fact of the matter is she probably is just wanting to spend some time with her family, or maybe feels obligated to do so. Surely you can understand that family is a big thing for a lot of older women.
Have either one of you brought up the simple possibility of just spending time together and getting dinner? Maybe you can get the ball rolling on that. My guess is that this woman either just wants some time to herself with her family, or just doesn't have the money for anything to extravagant right now.