I feel terrible for ending a relationship
I was seeing this guy for a few weeks. It was casual at first but then two weeks in we started having feelings for each other. After a little less than a month I decided that he wasn’t really right for me and I had just gotten out of a long relationship and realized I wasn’t ready for another one. I was honest with him and ended it in person. I feel terrible! He was clearly upset and I hate hurting people.
Worst part: I met him because he’s good friends with my sister. Now I’m terrified she’s going to be angry at me. Should I feel bad for doing what I did? I was just trying to do what was best for me. Also, he had a small problem with alcohol. He was drunk for almost all of our dates and that kind of bothered me (even though I didn’t say while ending it).
Your sister would want the best for you and this guy was not it. You are under no obligation to stay with a guy because of what others think or feel. Don’t let others run your love life!
Drunk on dates? Yikes, that’s reason enough to get away from him.
No need to explain anything to sister except that it just didn’t turn out. How she feels is not your concern.
Thank you for your reply it’s great to be able to talk to someone about problems that I can’t talk to anyone else about. I talked to my sister and her response was “that’s messed up to my friend” and “I wouldn’t have suggested you guys hang out if you weren’t ready to date“ and at that time I thought I was ready. But I realized I wasn’t. Do you think my sister is just upset because it’s so fresh? You don’t think she hates me?
Why does your sister think she is in charge of your life - in this case, your love life? Is this a pattern in your relationship with her? Does she pick your clothes to wear and food to eat?
I’m trying to jolt you into another way of thinking about this: you can’t allow others to make these kinds of decisions for you.
Time to show sister that you - and only you - will handle your dating scene. Make your oen choices.
Time, too, to be honest about your values concerning a dating partner. He was inappropriate showing up drunk on dates. Perhaps your sister mis- read this guy. In any case, she’s putting HIS feelings ahead of yours!!
So what if she gets “mad” at you about this? Stand your ground. Just smile if she starts in on you and tries to shame or bully you.
Are you ready to stand up for yourself to big suster?
You’re right, you definitely are. The reason why I was so concerned about what she thought was because our parents died when we were young and she practically raised me so I do care what she thinks but I know I cant let her make desicions about my dating life especially now that Im an adult. She told me to go for it with this guy cause I thought he was nice but it didn’t work out. There’s nothing wrong with that.
And I was upfront about it. I didn’t beat around the bush or drag it out. She can be upset if she wants but you’re right, that shouldn’t matter to me. I did what was right for myself and that’s okay. She and him will be alright in a week or two. It wasn’t that serious