Keep or tell?
Should I confuse to my boyfriend that I have been messaging another man?
We have been together for close to 3 years. Since March, I felt like he wasn't there for me. He just didn't show concern or love. I don't have any friends where I live and the ones I do message, can be very picky in when they respond to me (not the best friends, I guess) I felt so lonely. So much was happening in my personal life. I had so much stress from my mom and brother.
So I ended up searching out online chat apps. I ended up making one guy friend. We have been speaking since. Its been great having someone to talk about life with. I really joined thinking I'd delete in a few days. I really didn't join it in a serious way.
Now, my guy and I are patching through our rough bump. We are in a distant relationship and haven't seen each other since October. Its been a rough few months. I feel like I didn't go on the app for wrong intentions. But lately my guy has shown controlling behaviour. Which I know I have to watch. He told me that I am not allowed guy friends which I don't think is fair of him to say or decide. But should I tell him of this guy friend? Or tuck it under the rug? We are already rocky that I don't want this to tip us over completely. What do you think?
I do and I don't feel guilty. If that makes sense? I don't feel guilty because I don't think I was in the wrong and that I can make life choices as well that doesn't evolve around him alone. But I do feel guilty because he will be so upset that I did this. I really think this would end our relationship at this very moment if I did tell him.
Any advice or thoughts? Maybe somebody has also gone through a similar situation?
Jealousy is strong. If he's telling you you are not allowed guy friends then that is wrong. I was in an abusive relationship where it was decided we could only hang out with members of the opposite sex if the other was around. Guess what...our relationship ended and I'm so glad it did. I think the fact that you are asking this tells that it you are not meant for each other. Haven't seen each other since Oct? I say have fun with guys who are near you. I hope that helped at all and I wish you all the best sincerely.
PS please take my advice with a grain of salt because I'm just going through a lot right now. If you are sincerely wanting to keep in with the LD relationship then I say go for it however I wouldn't bother telling him about your online friend but stop doing it if it's causing bad feelings. He still should not be saying you can't have guy friends though, just saying. All the best.