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Super confused

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Relationship advice So at first I thought I was a booty call but now I'm confused. I really like the guy and I want to date him but when I asked what our relationship was he said that right now he just wanted to be friends and work up from there cause he doesnt want to rush into a relationship like he usually does, and he explained he just got out of a relationship back in April so it wouldn't be fair to me if he's still working through his feelings from his breakup. Which I find fair. This talk happened a couple days ago to about a week ago but today he talking about how he loved having me over and spending time with me and while he was gaming with his buddies online when he would stop to help me with something he would tell his friends to hold on I have to help my girlfriend real quick, and when I messed up his computer he was kissing my head and telling me to relax and it was an easy fix and not stress I need to relax in our home. I don't live with him I live across town. I'm super confused by him and I didn't think a few days and a few beers would make someone change their mind  that quickly.

Super confused

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Hey,

you're right, it doesn't take a few days/week to change you mind. I think if you want a proper future relationship with him then you need to remind him what he said and let him know he can't take advantage of you and he needs to stick to what he says.

Hes already told you hes not long come out of a relationship AND he rushs into a relationships too quickly and I would keep that in mind. If he likes you he will wait until he know he's ready and not use you.

He might enjoy your company but that doesn't mean that he can give mixed messages. He might of been testing would it would be like with his flirty actions. If he wants anythng he will need to talk to you.

Super confused

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i think he is just trying to keep you interested in him. he probably fears the push back about him still working out of prior relationship will scare you away from him to someone else. i agree with Lily that you should tell him he is confusing you with his flip flopping from being not ready to start a new relationship to labeling you as his girlfriend all of a sudden without any discussion with you on your feelings.

remain platonic with him until he makes a commitment to you about the future. don't become a booty call because he is feeling his hormones raging.

Super confused

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Hi GWillis. Thanks for sharing. I often remind those that post to this site that relationships are and probably should be challenging. If it is too easy, you may not appreciate the importance of each other.

Perhaps he is being consistent. Not rushing into a relationship while still wanting to spend time with you appears very appropriate and well intentioned. How else is he to develop this bond with you without spending quality time with you? I believe you can confirm his intent by maintaining a platonic relationship until you are satisfied with his commitment. If he is using you as a “booty call”, you will know quickly.

Good luck with this, and please keep us posted on future interactions and the possibility of a long term relationship.

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