Cheating or not? Help!!!
TRUEAMOR - Aug 16 2018 at 00:17
I currently live with my boyfriend. I think he is starting to have a wondering eye… I looked at his phone and discovered he is on meet me. I set up an account with a friend’s picture he did not know and started chatting with him he agreed to go on a date with me this weekend.He said how pretty her picture wasIf he goes to meet her which is really me is this considered cheating? Should I tell them that it is me? Is it bad that I tricked him? Please tell me what to do!
Unfortunately, I personally see this as cheating. Some people have other line. My rule is they can look and even have feeling, it when they act on it. Cheating isn't one act, its many choices. I think the best way is to confront him. If he's fishing then he's not taking your relationship seriously. Although it may be hard, you should break up with him. As for is it bad that you tricked him, unless he told you himself there isn't really a nice or "fair" way to go about finding out if someone is cheating. The hold event is selfish and make everyone seem like the 'bad guy'.This all of course is my opinion. There is not right or wrong answer. I wish you luck and you choose whats best for you. (happy) (A)
Thank you so much for your answer! I think you are right, as difficult as it may be after 4 years. But I would NEVER Arrange a date behind his back .... But I am going to confront him... he’ll be mad because I tricked him lol
As I read your post, I thought of the old adage "when you play with fire, you get burned". I think it would have been a better idea to talk to him about the situation instead of tricking him.
Why did you check the phone in the first place? There wasn't trust there to begin with. I don't want you to feel bad, but I think it would be better for you to talk this out with him.
All relationships go through hard times. We have to learn to manage those times and learn from them. Because we aren't perfect, we will hurt one another. Think through a situation before you decide what action to take. Talking is usually the best way to begin. Speak in love!
This relationship became terminal the second you felt the need to go through his phone. Not faulting you, just stating what's been true in my experience. You were right to be suspicious, and your first thought wasn't to talk to him, but to trick him into a confrontation. He's not committed to you and you don't trust him enough to have a conversation without proof. You knew the answer to this question awhile ago, I'm guessing. Trust your gut. But next time, try having a conversation as soon as you feel something "off". Save yourself a lot of time and unnecessary drama.
That Meet Me...mine had a fling with a girl he met on there a few years back. She was as hurt as I was because he of course did not tell her he was in a relationship..
Now I feel bad about tricking him....Yes, I did try to talk to him about it before I set up the fake account.. Of course, he denied everything...but I guess I did it because I really wanted to be sure...the problem is is that the love is still there....I haven't confronted him yet as for some reason he has not been active on the app anymore. So, i don't know if he will actually go on the date this weekend or not. But, I do know that my grandmother used to say a leopard never loses its spots.
Thanks to all for the good advice . It really helped me to calm down and look at all angles.
I have been married for 42 years now and we have never cheated or so, we agreed that if any of us would have an affair then there was 0 tolerance - and we also decided that love is not a permanent thing, it is a product of openness, being friends, respect and many other things - like sharing interests etc.
Having secrets like that is not a good sign - and I am sure you deserve better.
Love can sometimes be mistaken for fear of loosing someone, and behind that can be insecurity - lack of self-esteem and many other things.
We also talked about, in the beginning, that there are not only one "the only one" but hundreds, the decision to pair up and live together for better and for worse, and build an affection for each other, have a good intimate relation, that the trick and if both partners can agree upon such an endeavour then that's a start of a great journey.
i think you have your evidence! I'm going through similar too. But i think if he's agreed to meet up with another woman, then he clearly has made a big mistake. How would he feel if you did that?