She lives out of state and we only see each other a few times a year. She is coming with her boyfriend to the beach to stay with me but he has to leave after a few days. She expects my bf to leave at the same time because she wants to spend a few days alone with me. My adult son won’t have a friend at the beach so I wasn’t going to ask my bf to leave early because he can keep my son company. They get along.
She said she’ll leave with her bf if my bf doesn’t leave early. I understand she wants time alone but I thought even if my bf stays an extra day and my daughter and I have a few days together what’s the harm? I also feel bad asking my bf to leave early anyway.
It seems you have a lot of trouble handling your "adult" children and other family, and their demands. It also seems they do it because they can. They treat you this way because you allow it. All you need to do is stand up for yourself, and stop letting them bully you. Gonna have to do it repeatedly, as I'm guessing this has been the norm for far too long.
In the meantime since it’s just been a few months that you two are back together, you will have to split your attention for a while.
Stop being bullied by your daughter. Tell her that your boyfriend will be there as long as he chooses to be there, just like hers did. He CHOSE to leave early, but that is HIS decision and has nothing to do with you or a family vacation. Cause see, there are two things here that are strange.
#1 Why are adults having a family vacation? That is what you do when you have minor children. As adults you are not obligated to vacation with them EVER.
#2 If she wanted time alone with you, then why did she invite her boyfriend at all? He should not have been there, then she would have al eg to stand on. Right now she is trying to make decisions and run things when in reality she is being a bully.
So what you need to do is tell her that your boyfriend WILL be there, and that when her boyfriend leaves she should leave with him. Or she does not have to come at all and can go on a 3 day trip with her boyfriend then back home. She has options.
Let her know that you refuse to be alone and lonely, and that you love this man and that he is important to you. Tell her that she is also important to you, but that a vacation is supposed to be fun, not full of arguments and a bad attitude. She needs to learn her place and her role in your life which is to get in where she fits in. Catering to her demands is not something you should be doing anymore. She is not a toddler! (though she is acting like one).
Seriously. You are the parent. Right?
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