Should I give my husband another chance?
Hi I need advice as I have no one else to talk to about this.
So I am married 10 years we have 2 kids but with my husband over 20 years. We have had our ups and downs but we have always been happy and in love.
2 weeks ago he went on a staff night out he seemed ok the day after but he then seemed very distant and in really bad form. When I asked him what was wrong he got angry with me. I would never have looked through his phone but my internet connection wasn’t working so I had to use his phone and it was then a message popped up from a co worker.
I looked at the message and it started from him saying
Are we ok over the other night?
She said ya of course
He said thank god didn’t want things to be to be awkward after the conversation.
So i confronted him and he told me he said to her that if he had know her 15 years ago he would have asked her out and he found her attractive.
She just told him to fuck off and laughed it off but I can’t get it out of my head. He is so sorry and he loves me and loves his life with me and the kids and told me he doesn’t know why he said it and that he doesn’t fancy her but that he gets on really well with her and that’s all.
What should I do? I am heartbroken as I don’t trust him anymore and I think if she fancied him too they could have had an affair if I didn’t find the messages.
Nothing actually happened, he's not lying to you, and he's wanting to make it right. He's genuinely remorseful and honest, over something he said to a woman, once.
If, after 20 "happy" years together, you want to cling to your insecurity and stay upset with him, then you're not as happy as you claim. Either you want to let it go, or you don't. Saying you "can't" simply means you don't want to. You may want to ask yourself why your intent is to stay angry instead of moving past it.
Ya he did verbalize a crush but he is a married man and he shouldn’t have done it.
I am feeling better in myself regarding the whole thing and he is really making an effort and I know I need to forgive and forget and I do love him but I am still thinking if she was into him would it have developed into something more.
I looked through other messages from her to him and she had sent him on some video with sex content in them some funny and one of a couple getting caught having sex in a school. To be honest I think this is when his feeling changed towards her and he started seeing her in that.. light.