Ex's love letters
I broke up with my ex about a year ago and she was devastated. My main issues that led to the break-up was that she didn't really put any effort into the relationship and would go into moods that would result in silence for days on end.
Once I'd ended it (we were together about 18 months) she would drive past my house all the time and she posted letters through my door for about a week, addressed to 'my best friend'. The issue is, I haven't opened these letters for whatever reason, yet I still have them.
I'm in a very happy relationship now, yet the letters remain. I'm a little bit scared to open them in, probably because it'll make me feel guilty, but also it may open up feelings and wounds.
What do I do??
Hmmm.... I wonder.
Unless you didn't really want the breakup, or this new relationship, why would you still have them, opened or not? Why on earth would you ignore them at time of delivery, only to consider opening them after you're in a relationship with someone else?
This shouldn't even be a thing.
Unless you want to invite your new love to read them with you, you missed your chance for the ego boost (or whatever it is you're looking for now).
How would you feel if your new SO had a stack of letters from her ex hanging around. Letters she didn't want to open til after she met you.
Yeah I know. I suppose I didn't throw them away at the time as it just seemed rude to just put them in the bin. I did just put them in a drawer and forgot about them. You're right though, I'd hate it if it was the other way round.
It definitely isn't for an ego boost. It's curiosity more than anything. I guess there's part of me that that wonders if there's explanations to why she was like she was.
I'm not making excuses for myself. It just puzzled me at the time that I put loads of effort into the relationship (not after a medal) and she was happy to sit back and the effort wasn't reciprocated. The only time she did was when I left.
She dropped off letters - then no followup for a year?
Most likely they were full of her excuses, possible threats, maybe even blaming you , giving ultimatum - you know, all the things thst self-centered (narcissist) people do.
If she was really remorseful and was going to change, she would have made personal contact with you.
Perhaps you didn’t open these letters because deep down, you knew what they would contain abd you needed to get away from her.
Throw or burn them. They serve no purpose.
You're obviously still focused on someone you're no longer with. You say she was the devastated one, but you're the one still wondering about her, in spite of a "happy" new relationship. That's not curiosity. That's something else entirely.
What a twisted view! Spare me the amateur psychology please. I just wonder what's inside them, nothing else. I'm blissfully happy thanks, this is nothing more than wondering if they contained explanations. I'm completely with susie and realised that there's nothing worth reading and they have been destroyed. Just for my own curiosity, and please don't think this is indicative of the state of my current relationship, who says 'yikes'? Do you live in the Beano in 1978? Or do you take your inspiration from Scooby Doo? Either way... Yikes.
Didn't mean to offend. Seems you knew the answer all along. Glad you realized that.
Sorry I'd had a bad day at work, you didn't offend me. I guess there's a party of me that feels guilty about hurting her and I suppose regret over every break up. I am over her, but will always look back and wonder. Apologies if I snapped back.