My old friend got molested by her dad, I told and she tried to ruin my life as well
My best friend of 10 years told me her dad has been molesting her and she ran away, she told me this information when she was very vunerable and i comforted her.
But I started to have nightmares about it everyday, even tho i promised i wouldnt tell anyone, I had to. So I told my friend who lives in a different state about this.
Well that was a mistake because she ended up telling ppl I know and some rumor spread and it got back to my friend.
She bitched at me and said the worst things to me, she said this all in anger but she always thought this. She threatened to ruin my life and send all my provocotive photos to my parents so that I would get kicked out of my house, but my ex lover convinced her not to. thank god.
Honestly I knew I fucked up and I apologized because I shouldnt have shared her personal things to my other friend. Her whole family turned against me and her mom wanted to talk to me individually. I didn't give them my new address but she had my phone number. They kept calling but eventually my dad picked up saying that she wants to talk to me. I told my dad she was threatening me and my dad told them to leave me alone.
Honestly I hurt her by doing that, but she's done so many mean things to me and always put me down, she doesn't treat me like a person.
for example She told me that im a piece of garbage and I'll never be someones wife and Im barely someones child. And everything that happened to me was good and shes glad that it did happen (I got into multiple car crashes, got beaten by my family, broke up with my bf,etc. In a span of 2 months)
She doesnt give af about me anymore and I dont either. But her words did hurt me a lot. She said the meanest things to me which were terrible. She thought I was talking shit about her but I was just telling someone cuz i felt bad cuz ive been molested too as a child and idk it was hard to hear, I wish I didnt.
Im glad we arent friends anymore, but this has affected me and it makes me feel sad. My other friend just has rage, she always took all her anger out on me and talked down to me, but I never had the courage to stand up for myself.
This is going to be the second subject I respond to tonight where I feel a little out of my element, because there's a lot of really touchy subjects at play here. But I'm going to give this a shot and offer my outside opinion.
So first of all, I am a little surprised at some of the things this person said about you following traumatic events in your life. I'm a little confused, though. Did she say these things and act like this the whole time you've known her, or is this all stuff that came up immediately after she found out you had told other people about her issues?
I'll come back to this thought in a moment.
A key piece of information here is that something pretty screwed up happened to her. Maybe her being molested has contributed a lot to the way she has grown up thinking about and viewing the world, and had a major impact on her. The reason why it may be so easy for her to put down a close friend is because she feels like your life is much better than hers, or that she went through something worse. (Which may or may not be true.) Or maybe it's another reason entirely that may be influenced, in part, by what she has been through. Or maybe not, maybe she is just being rude and that's all.
You already know it was wrong to break confidentiality here, but you did anyway. I get that you needed to talk with someone, but apparently the person you told wasn't very trustworthy, or had a big mouth, or dealt with it in the same way that you did. It all just becomes a real-life version of the "Telephone" game where you whisper something to the person beside you, and they whisper what they remember you saying to the next person...and so on, until by the end the message may become incredibly warped. People may tell the same story 1000 different ways, leaving out key pieces of information, or focusing on the points that stood out to them most. And intricate things that went along with the message, such as, "I feel so bad for my friend", and, "I can relate a little bit because I have been molested, too.", tend to fall by the wayside in favor of a shorter and more to-the-point message, "So-and-so was molested, and it was by her Father! She became a runaway!".
I am not sure what your arrangement was with your friend, and your ex-lover, wherein there are provocative photos of you floating around that these people can find and pass around. Ones that might potentially get you kicked out of the house, no less! But I will say that you came out of this whole ordeal looking pretty spiffy. You are lucky that this ex-lover of yours was able to get your friend to at least throw aside that idea, otherwise you would be feeling more embarrassment of your own right now. I'm not sure whether that would make you feel as bad as your friend does now, or worse, or still not as badly. But you've gotten lucky. And now you need to be careful not to let this sort of thing happen again. Be thankful that luck was on your side this time.
Now, coming back to my first point: your friend's behavior. Look, even if she said those things about you before, as mean and as hurtful as they were, maybe you can look at some of it unbiased as constructive criticism. I'm gathering from your post that you have had some tough times of your own over the past decade, and maybe your friend just noticed some times where you made poor decisions or weren't very thoughtful. Maybe she is hoping you will learn from the outcomes of some of these bad things that have happened to you over the years.
Your friend has rage. She's said some pretty nasty things to and about you, and threatened you. But everyone has their flaws. You have to decide whether you're willing to accept how she's treated you and appreciate the good things about her, or if things she's done over the years have been entirely unforgivable. Maybe you can still salvage the friendship and start over with a clearer understanding of each other? That is up to you and her to decide.