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Pearl Wilson, Psychologist's Assistant
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Yes i am married been married 2 years and together for 4 years and my husband refuses to communicate with me about relationship problems or my feelings and refuses to talk about his feelings unless he gets extremely angry about me "bitching " I've caught in small lies a whole lot and it just angers him and he refuses to realize it hurts even a small lie and I get the feeling he is hiding alot bigger things and he has no interest in anything I try n have a normal conversation about he just tunes me out and acts annoyed when I talk our sex life has turned into him saying hey wanna fuck? Or even texting it to me at times and even then there's no foreplay no special attention nothing just gets it hard n penetrates I also have to mention he watches alot of porn on his phone and hides it but I just know.... he also plays a few games on his phone and types an awful lot and Say he don't talk to anyone... he loves his family bit could care less about my side of the family. If I attempt and let my feelings out to him he twist it and says oh yeah so everything's my fault and gets extremely angry . He doesn't like me going with him to friends houses at times he does not compliment me in anyway no longer and gets mad when I ask if he truly still loves me and says yes I do what the fuck and gets angry ... I have no clue how to get him to realize I am unhappy without him getting extremely angry ... he use to be very good to me and use to hold me and was very sexually attracted to me give me compliments and make sure I had everything I needed or wanted before he did and use to be very honest with me we were closer than any other couple I know like team mates but now he act like he could care less if I exist or not Idk what to do
I will say firstly , i am so sorry you are going through this. Realize first and foremost that you matter, and how you feel matters. About the lying. He i am pretty sure that he gets angry because he was found out. And how he is treating you, is very insensitive and not good at all,. I would see if he would go to couple's counseling with you. It seems to me you have tried to talk to him on your own, and get nowhere. So maybe need to have that sounding board and find out the root of the problem. If he is unwilling perhaps you can go stay with family or a friend, for a few days. He says he still loves you, but his behavior does not show that, and i am sure that is very confusing. Maybe just taking some time for yourself, and even if you go chill with friends, or family. will wake him up enough to show that he needs to change his behavior. You don't deserve to be treated that way.. I am always here, if you need to just vent, or would like to talk more.
I am going through something similar. and i have realized my husband get mad at me when i catch him in a lie or hiding something. I am constantly telling him what i need to feel loved and he just refuses to do it. then he gets mad when i ask if he even loves me! Guys are so annoying! they just dont have the feelings we do. have you ever read the book Venus on fire, Mars on ice by John Gray? It is a great book. im trying to get my husband to read it. but i think you would learn a lot reading that book. Good luck i really hope he starts to pay attention. I had to move out for my husband to realize i was serious about being unhappy and he NEEDED to work with me.
My husband also never want0s to talk out our problems or anything which "smells" lika a "problem" - he just walks out of the house into the next bar and is coming back home 2 hours later. And this eventhough he knows that my health is in a very bad shape since someone hit me (for nothing) and broke my bones so that I had to stay in hospital. Since then I have a lot of health-problems, stay always inside and have nobody to talk to. We are living 25 years now together and are married for 23 years, without children. My family are all gone and we live abroad as we left our hoe-country, so my friends are somewhat "lost" too. I start to become more and more depressiv, cannot sleep at night and so on..............I am very, very sad.