Should I express my love to the girl who tied the Rakhi on my wrist?
Should I express my love to the girl who tied the Rakhi on my wrist? I feel guilty for doing so as she considers me a brother. What should I do?
How committed are you to a cultural promise made when you were a child?
Actually she is my childhood friend's sister.. i used to like her from very starting only...but 4 years back my friend called me and ask me to come to his home at rakshabandhan to tie rakhi from his sister ...had i denied, it would have put a bad impression..so she tied me rakhi...since then i have never tied rakhi from her but also killed my feelings for her...but from past 4 months we got very close to each other...i m a very good friend of her now ..but may be she still see me as her brother i guess...but i dont see her as my sister n never be able to see...i don't want her to be my girlfriend n ol...but i just want her to know what i think about her n what i feel for her and let her decide whether she wants to continue our friendship or not
But your title says you want to “profess your love.”
You may not be ready to decide anything right now.
May I ask your ages?
Not actually profess my love ... I want to share my feelings... N let her decide if she wants to keep anything with me after knowing all the stuffs which i mentioned above...i just dont want to hide anything from her...we are 21 right now
At 21, you are an adult who can choose your future, not be bound by childhood ceremonies.
You don't say if she expresses feelings for you. So you must go slow and see what happens.
Do you have an elder that you can talk to about this? someone with modern lookout on your religion/culture?
No..not any elder...but there is another mutual friend of us who is suggesting to forget her n try not to talk to her at all... As my friend cum her brother(for whose sister i have feelings) has suspected that something is fishy with me regarding her..n he has directly asked me not to talk to her anymore...he is asking why i m getting so close to his sister.. what should i do now?
Perhaps there are other reasons your friends are discouraging any relationship with this girl, other than rakhi ties.
Can you share why you focus on the rakhi connection? Some people have many rakhi ties, young children give them to soldiers for protection, people send them in the mail to other people in other countries. It has gotten quite commercial. Does it have special significance to you?
She is also 21 years old?
Actually the mentality here is something like "a friend's sister is also like your sister" ..and 4 years back may be my friend had some doubt whether i will try to woo her sister n ol ,so to be secure he asked me to tie rakhi from her..so that we become brother n sister n there is no chance of any bf gf thing..
But this year ,from 4 months their parents are not here...so i usually went to his house to meet him.. but i got close to her sister too...n the major problem is i have always talk to her in her house only...but I guess my friend had no problem from my n her sister's friendship back then....but from past 4 days he is having problems with me...n asked me not to talk to her..he is asking me i should be concerned with him , not his sister...n he has disclosed the problems he is having with me to one of our mutual friend...n fortunately that mutual friend has said me everything like that her brother (my friend) almost knows that i consider her more than friend and while talking sometimes i hold her hand , this thing also angers him a lot..
How old is this girl?
N 4 months back i don't know what happened to me.. whenever i used to talk to her i always used to hold her hands... sometimes i used to make fun of her so she used to scratch me on my hands sith her nails and in response to that I have bitten on her shoulder .. softly punched on her stomach in a friendly manner...many times..so i fear if my friend scolds her that why she used to talk to me and if she says that she always considered me her brother and it was me who used to go to her to talk with her...n have done such things (holding hands , biting) .... situation can get worse for me n my family reputation will be at stake.. i have also given her 6000 rupees due..as she was in some need without making her brother know anything....all this things can go against me...n my mutual friend is suggesting me to forget her totally as my friend still doesn't know everything n if i object to him that y should i not talk to your sister and ask him to ask his sister if i had done anything wrong...n if she in pressure of her brother reveals everything (biting on her shoulder) .. situation will be very worse for me.....so my mutual friend asked me to go to him n say whatever u r thinking it's wrong i dont have any such intention... still i won't talk to her ...n close the matter
Yes she is of my same age...but i dont want to end things with her...she is a really very close friend of mine...n i dont want to lose her
She means a lot to me...n I am having sleepless nights from last few days... Everything seems to get over between me n her... how can i make situation normal so that my friend doesn't have any problems with me n her sister's friendship..
It seems you are having trouble keeping the kind of relationship that binds you to the rakhi tradition. You want more. But this is not allowed by family, tradition, and her relatives. There is great pressure on you.
You will not lose her as a friend, but you cannot make this relationship anything more. Because you have strong feelings, you must not see her alone anymore.
So you have no choice but to back off on this relationship.
This is not the news you want to hear.
Go on a trip to get away. Date others. Socialize more.
This will take time, but you can do this.
Brother.. Fortunately i got to meet her today...n said her each n everything about what is brother's thinking and what he had said to me... actually this year i refused to tie rakhi from her...so she said me this may have cause so much problem..so today i finally conveyed her that I don't see her as my sister and she is just a very good friend to me and 4 years back i just wore rakhi for the sake of his brother...she was like ok... n she said we won't meet at her house but i can text her on fb or WhatsApp..she will talk to me there
N she also said that she don't see anything wrong in my touch...n she trusts me... I said her se means a lot to me and i just don't want to lose her...i was panicking too much...but she was there to calm me down.... listening all this what do you think? What should i do?
She was quite tired andd exhausted that time though...nd i dont know whether she take taken seriously that fact that i don't see her as my sister..or she just said ok to calm me down n make e feel that she trusts me and is not like her brother who doubts me