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Do you think that I should move out of my mother's house?

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Housing advice My mother almost never makes good decisions.

Like she married a man who was a mean con artist who didn't have much money. And even after he got a decent paying job, we were still poor because of him always wasting the money on stuff like gambling. My mother did have a good paying job until she quitted it. The reason for her quitting it is just because her ex husband wanted her to quit just so she could become dependent on him.

After my mother's ex husband divorced her and left anyone else behind and after he put my mother into a lot of debt, I started going on social security since I have aspergers, and I get 1,300 dollars a month from social security. But I give 900 of the money to my mother so she can pay for the bills.

So after the divorce, my mother had to get a car in order to spite her ex husband. But however the car kept breaking down even after my mother tried to have it fixed multiple times. She eventually gave up on trying to fix it, and now my mother is having to drive her mother's (my grandmother's) car, and she still has that useless car in her garage. My mother wasted 8,000 dollars on buying and trying to fix that useless car!

I'm 24 years old, and I want to move out of my mother's house now, because of not only me wanting a new experience in life, but also because I'm scared that my mother is going to make a bad decision that's going to effect me really bad, and I think that my mother is holding my life back. Also my mother could've gotten a job after the divorce (in which she should have), since now she is very poor, and now she has back and hip problems that make it impossible for her to work.

I have my drivers license, and I want to get a car, but it's hard for me to save up for one because I'm not getting enough money to save up for one. I have stuff that I have to buy with my own money like food and cleaning supplies and hygiene supplies, and also there is a lot of stuff at my mother's house that needs to be fixed, so I give her some of my 800 dollars that I get (for myself) a month in order to have the stuff fixed. I also want to save up for an apartment too, but that's also difficult too because of the same reasons.


My older brother wants me to move out of my mother's house and move in with him, because he (and I too) think that she's holding me back from going further in my life. If I moved into my brother's apartment, he wouldn't charge me near as much as my mother does, so it would be easier for me to save up on a car and for my own apartment. But for some reason, my mother doesn't want me to move out of her house.

My mother is so poor that she usually has my grandmother pay for her groceries at the store. It's that bad!

Do you think that I should move out of my mother's house?

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Hi,

It sounds like you know exactly what you want and you have your brothers support behind you, who also recognises you are potentially going to be held back, if you don't move out of your mums house one day soon. That's a good position to be in.

If you get on with him relatively well, then consider moving in with him and talk to him about it.

As for your mum. She might not like your decision if you move out. She might react badly and maybe make you feel bad, but stand your ground, and repeat to her why you want to move out. Sometimes you gotta sound like a broken record to get through to someone but hopefully your brother will back you up.

It sounds like she's become very reliant on you and your grandmother and if you moved out, her life would change and it would probably force her to get a job again. In the long run I think you'd be doing her a favour. She just might need some help. Just coz you move out doesn't mean you can't go and visit her and still support her emotionally.

Keep updating if you want :-).

Do you think that I should move out of my mother's house?

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I would take your brother's offer. But, I would also advise you to be sympathetic to your mother's situation.

You're 24, you're still pretty young yet. You also have Asperger's so I imagine it's taken you a bit longer to feel comfortable with the idea of taking this next big step than most people. But I get the impression you really haven't started living your own life yet. And rest assured, you will make mistakes of your own - and probably even understand a little bit what your mother is going through.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-0