Is he the right guy?
Hi everyone, I am a new member.
I have been living with my boyfriend, supposedly finace for almost four years now. we have age difference of 26 years. He is divorced with three children who are grown up and independent. When we met, he was looking for a new life and a family, same as I. We still love and care for each other and living together is fun. However, when we met he said he was ready to have kids, start a family and legalize our marriage. Time has passed and it has all changed.
Recently we moved to another country, we quit our jobs. I am advancing my studies and him too is stuying to change his career. so, we are basically living on our savings. This fact I understand well.
I will be done by mid next year, so I would be able to get back to work. I accidentally got pregnant this year and he got so frustrated and asked me to abort. He said we are not ready. I love him and I wanted to keep our relationship so I did abort. But recently, I was wondering if really he wants something real for us, so I asked him about making our living legal. He said he does not want to get into marriage again due to his past experience, and a lot of women change after they get married legally. I asked why at first he agreed to it, and that is what I wanted anyway. He claims that I will change after we are legally binded and sometimes I act bad and he thinks if we are married I might want to control him.
Now I am asking if he is the real guy I want to build a family and a committed relationship with. ( I have never been married nor have kids)
I would really appreciate mature advice, since I am soon making a decision. Thank you all.
I just had similar problem to answer so thought to give you same answer and hope it helps you
Its seems like you have to make decision if you want to be with the person who at beginning of relationship said was ready to have kids, family and marry you and now he is clearly not want that as soon you get pregnant he make you to have abortion and make some statements why he doesn’t want to marry. It appears that for some reason he doesn’t want what he originally said.
You need to think what you really want. Do you want to be with boyfriend and just live with him no children, no marriage? Do you want to have children? If you get pregnant again would he ask you again to have abortion? Do you want just relationship or you want marriage? Do you want to have proper family? Take a time to think and than make decision on what you really want in your life. I you can be happy just to be with your boyfriend not have children and marriage than stay but if you want proper family with children than you need to ask yourself if your partner is right one for you.