Long distance hell!!!!
My partner and I have been together for almost 3 and half years (on and off)
Our relationship has had it's far share of ups and downs- a down where we did not speak for 3months.
Usually when we have arguments I will hang up on him and not return his calls for days/weeks
The longest was 3months, and he has always chased me, even when I have changed my number he will find a way to get in contact with me. This has become the norm for our relationship.
He lives in America, whereas I live in the UK, he comes here for a couple months at a time, however I'm sure you can imagine the difficulty of maintaining our relationship.
He is the one to come here as he is unemployed, so usually pay his fare.
We argue ALOT, but love one another so much!
After not speaking for 3months we met up in the states and just reconnected, one thing lead to another and we got married!
At first I was happy, he seemed changed more mature and that he had alot more appreciation for me, but soon after I came back we began to bicker and the sane cycle continued of him either being rude, complacent or just immature.
I would stop answering his calls and when I've calmed down speak to him and we would make up! Our arguments would get so heated that I would threaten divorce!
Now it has been two solid weeks of on/off speaking and arguing he has stopped chasing as much and even told me that he feels distant toward me, and he is turning cold toward me when I ignore him. I do not know whether to take him seriously as he often say things he doesn't mean as he suffers with ADHD.
To wrap this as I know I'm rambling, we had a huge argument on Thursday, to the point where he said I need to see you now! So he was planning to come in the next few days but I was so mad that I forwarded my calls to make that I had changed my number! As the things he said to me were hurtful and I wanted him to chase me, he called my house number 3 times on Friday but I did not answer. Then he just stopped this is unlike him I have heard nothing today, I'm starting to regreat this but don't want to be the first one to make contact!
Also he keeps asking me if I am seeing someone, obviously I'm not but it makes me wonder if he is?
I love him I really do, and I want to be with him even though it sounds really dysfunctional when we are together is magic!
In addition he has come into some money ($2000 or so) and I'm scared that he is going to spend or already has and if we do start speaking we'll have even longer to see each other (as he is terrible with money).
I do not know what to do? Please help!!
I don't want to sound rude and it might come off like that because it's threw the internet and you can't hear the tone in my voice but i'm not being rude i just wanna say that the whole hanging up, ignoring him, blocking calls etc is a very immature way to go about things. Usually 14 or 15 year old females do that. It's obvious you love him alot so why run away everytime a argument turns south? As a couple, a MARRIED could you need to stop running away and having him chase you because he will start to lose respect or get cold towards you over time. He will feel like you're obviously not putting in effort and running away when things get bad and next time he meets a girl he won't hesitate to start talking to her. Also ADHD has very little to do with him saying something that he doesn't mean unless you're talking about him saying something impulsively.
I knew a few girls like you. And eventually the guy, little by little, started losing feelings for them. Not overnight but overtime. They thought they had him in the palm of there hands. Esp one of my friends who's boyfriend would literally cry begging for her back, he was the same one to break up with her a couple years later because he got sick of it.
All's im saying is don't hang up or run away when you get in an argument. EVERY couple gets into arguments. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and there was only ONE time i broke up with him but the situation was serious but like most females i went back. (he sweettalked I fell lol)
By the way what state does he live in? Anywhere near Boston, Mass?